Monday, November 28, 2005

"...But you were speeding!!!"

Right, imagine this: You're driving at 98 km/h on a 100 km/h road, you're on the left lane ‎‎(the fast lane for you ignorant fucks that drive slow on it.. but we won't be ripping the ‎piss out of you.. not in THIS article), you're a law-abiding citizen on your way to earn the ‎cash to feed hungry mouths.. it's 6:45 am and HOLY CRAP WHAT THE FUCK ‎‎*SCREEEEEEECH*..‎

Bang motherfucker...‎

Right let me clear things up a bit as you're all probably lost. I'm the last car to pass a ‎traffic lights junction and there are cars coming in from the right. All of a sudden, some ‎dumbass decides to join the road you're on and go straight to the left lane without looking ‎to see if maybe (just maybe) there are human beings driving on that road. And what ‎happens? Yeah you guessed it. I slammed the breaks but with no avail; crashed straight ‎into the side of his "vehicle" (and by vehicle I mean and unsanitized piece of crap on ‎wheels that's not been in production since the cold war). Check out the crappy illustration ‎if you still didn't get what happened (otherwise get a thesaurus out coz some of these ‎words are too big for your pea-sized brain). Ok check if there are any broken bones; ‎none? Good. Now get out and check if the other guy's ok; is he? Al7amdila. Now check ‎your car; minimum damage but annoying to see it in such a state when it's not even your ‎fault. So guy comes out the car FUMING and says YOU WERE SPEEDING!

Say what?‎

‎"YOU WERE SPEEDING!" Whose fault is it pig fucker? "Duhhhh mine?" of course it is ‎so it doesn't fucking matter if I was speeding now does it? "YES IT DOES YOU ‎SHOULD GET A TICKET I HAVE TO KEEP OUR STREETS SAFE FROM YOU ‎BOY RACERS." Well in that case thank you for saving the people of Bahrain from a ‎good driver Captain fuckhole! By this time the traffic police have already made it to the ‎scene (what a surprise!) and straight away the guy walks up to the officer to explain what ‎happened. And you know what? I let him coz there is no way this idiot's gonna convince ‎the guy that I'm the one at fault NOR can he convince him that I was speeding. So I stood ‎there listening to this dumb asshole dump so much shit at this officer you'd need a ‎manure truck to get rid of all of it. The dumbfuck was like "MEASURE THE ‎SKIDMARKS! YOU CAN CLEARLY SEE HE HAS BEEN SPEEDING!" So the ‎officer did just to shut his pie-hole up. We were supposed to be sent to nearby police ‎station to get shit taken care of but NOOOO the moron wanted to go all the way back to ‎the traffic police headquarters determined to get me a speeding ticket. I accepted the ‎pitiful challenge as at that moment I was sick of this guy's shit and I was itching to see ‎him get humiliated.‎

We got to the traffic headquarters and straight away the guy sits at a traffic officer's desk, ‎picks up a piece of paper and a pen, and sketches the incident. The officer says “so it's ‎your fault." And the guy was like "I KNOW THAT BUT HE WAS SPEEDING! ‎PLEASE CALL THE OFFICER THAT WAS ON DUTY HE'LL GIVE YOU THE ‎MEASUREMENTS!" So he did. He spoke for 10 seconds and put the phone down. He ‎looked at the idiot and said I wasn’t speeding. The fuckface jumps up and throws a ‎tantrum! "WHAT THE FUCK WHAT ABOUT THE SKIDMARKS?" The officer replies ‎‎"well skid marks happen when someone breaks hard to stop from bashing into other ‎people's cars to save both your lives you stupid ass." I had to leave the room coz I was ‎about to laugh my ass off! The idiot was having none of it and wasn't convinced so the ‎officer said shut up punk if you wanna continue with this you gotta go to some other guy ‎with higher ranking. And he did, but I never got the speeding ticket COZ I WASN'T ‎FUCKING SPEEDING!‎

Moral of the story: ‎

‎1. If you get involved in an accident and it's not your fault then fight for it coz people will ‎try to bring you down with them coz they're sadistic fucks.‎
‎2. If you're an idiot, don't drive!‎


Anonymous jmjm said...

Man that's so true!!! This is what you get when some dickwads and ninjas come out of a turn and go STRAIGHT into the fast lane and not into their own lane!!! What a bunch of fuckfaces we have unfortunately!!!

8:23 AM, November 28, 2005  
Anonymous $teeLPipe666 said...

damn man hope ur ok, funny story though, the stories i had with the dumb drivers and traffic police are infinite, but what can you do, the problem is that people just cant drive!

when your driving you basically have to keep looking right and left to make sure sure morons arent suddenly gonna turn on you, its a matter of survival just to get anywhere.

10:49 AM, November 28, 2005  
Blogger $iLveR GiRL said...

I think I'm one of those who shouldn't drive!

7emdellah 3alsalama :)

1:06 PM, November 28, 2005  
Blogger LiB Team said...

It's nice to have more bloggers in here, nice to have you aboard, silveroo!

1:18 PM, November 28, 2005  
Anonymous snopy said...

this happend to me before

u have to kick them cause they are shit .

i wish i have a gun to shoot them ass wholes

5:02 PM, November 28, 2005  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I had a very close call the other day, we all know the new one way system in Juffair that runs down to the subway sandwich shop. At the end of this you can turn right down the best western road or carry straight on. I was going straight on but some saudi motherfucker decided cut in front of me to turn left down the WRONG WAY of the one way system!! I slammed the trusty anchors on, spilt two large arabucks cups of coffee all over my freshly valeted motor and the whole thing happened in direct field of vision from a police landcruiser. What did they do, fuck all as usual. There i am trying to mop up late from my freshly boiled testicles while the police just turn right towards the best western. I was not a happy teddy!!

2:57 AM, January 31, 2009  

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