Monday, September 06, 2010

LiB @ Work #3: I DEMAND Work... NOW!

Okay so you went through hard years at school then college and after enduring sweat, tears and sleepless nights, you finally graduate with flying colors. Great! Now it’s time to find that dream job...

You prepare a resume and make a few printouts, and then you go on a job hunt. You go to every single prestigious establishment you know and after a few weeks of no replies, you start applying at medium companies and distribute that resume through email. Finally you get desperate and start applying at ANY company for ANY opening. But that’s not our subject today. See we all go through the painful process above, unless you were born with a silver spoon up your ass or you know someone who was then your ride would be much easier, and since you have a spoon up your ass then you’re used to and lubed up to take anything else entering there just to get things in life for next to nothing...

We will be talking about those who FORCEFULLY demand jobs that they are not entitled to or just think it is for them and them only and how people nowadays make it a politically rich material for their campaigning and lobbying...

Take for example a simple lady who graduated and started selling water in the streets in order to feed her kid and family. There are mixed feelings and opinions about why this lady did what she did in order to be able to support her family. I for one see nothing wrong with that except for the facts that surround this case and how others used it for their own benefit. Of course a lot of “activists” saw this as a golden opportunity to concentrate on politicizing the issue. Damn hippies pouncing on everything they see and twist shit for their own gains. Thus ruining any chances that might have existed to resolve those issues and making the case lose credibility almost instantly.

This lady, according to an interview with her, has a husband and an 18-month old child. Her husband makes BD 525 a month, which is not bad, I’m not saying that it’s perfect but for a small family they can very well manage. I mean bigger families live on a much less monthly income. Again am not saying that it’s ideal or that the lady shouldn’t do that. Everyone has the right to an income and if there is room for additional income “ethically” i.e. working part-time in a second job or doing some small business on the side AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T CLASH WITH THE PRIMARY JOB. The point here is the attitude that came with the lady’s demand and the hippies who promoted her.

Again, the lady was heavily portrayed in the media as some authorities saw this as a “begging on the streets” case and others highlighted her case either online or through papers etc...

Some companies actually sympathized with her and offered her jobs within their organizations. This must be good right? Only thing is, the idiot refused all that and DEMANDED that she is to be employed in a governmental ministry or entity and ONLY in the government, OR ELSE!

And here comes the shitty attitude. I know that government work is easy, laid back and secure for life. And that’s why many people want to work for the government. Other than security, underachievers always want to work for the government because they know there are NO real performance appraisal systems there and ratings are only to fill blank sheets of paper at the end of the year. I am not saying that no one in the government works hard. There are a lot who work hard but in the end, they all get the same ratings and so on...

Again, there is nothing wrong with this lady asking to work for the government, provided there are openings that match her qualifications. Refusing to work for any company other than the government, however, is plain wrong. I mean there is nothing wrong with starting with a private company and building up that resume. It’s very good to have any kind of experience and adding it to a resume which will be of good use in the future whilst applying for any vacancy that comes up within the desired sector or company. What’s wrong is DEMANDING that “I MUST be employed at that company and THAT COMPANY ONLY”.

Now there are other idiots who lose their jobs because they are very bad performers then they go out on the streets, protesting and DEMANDING that they be reinstated in their jobs immediately, OR ELSE! Take this moron for example...

Attention, ANYTHING for attention. I won’t go looking for a job, the job MUST come to me!

Yes, everyone has the right to a good standard of living, and that comes through fighting in life by getting a good education then progressing through the ranks and getting good jobs with good pay along the way… What sickens me though, is how some refuse to do anything to change their situations and sit on their asses all day and demanding for jobs without bothering to look. Or those who have no proper qualifications and asking to be hired as managers or getting salaries no less than BD 600 a month. There are graduates who work for much less but they work hard and try their best to prove themselves and then get rewarded accordingly... Get a life you idiots.

Again like we said before. People have become very demanding without the willingness to give back. And the hippies backing them up will fight for them with total disregard to others who will fight for themselves and strive hard to make a good living whilst others are sitting on their butts all day and demanding only...

Fuck this, where’s the KY? I’m late for a sit-in on a pole in front of the Ministry of Housing to DEMAND a house!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Vote... OR ELSE...

So, the parliamentary and municipal elections are once again upon us. I can’t see anything good that was produced over the past 8 years. They managed, however, to fuck a lot of things up but the two things that pissed me off the most were:
  • Ninjas were allowed to drive on the chaotic streets of Bahrain. They bring nothing but idiocy in driving as the ninja masks they wear limits their visibility and flow of necessary oxygen into their thick brains.
  • Approval of fat payments to outgoing parliamentarians as a pension, receiving 50% if they serve one 4-year term and 80% for serving 2+ terms. So become an MP for 8 years and you get 80% of your BD 4,000 salary for life. Whereas we peasants must slave our asses off for 30+ years to be eligible for that 80% otherwise it’s much less than that.

What’s even worse is that people are still like sheep. They say that they “will never elect anyone ever again” only to go and vote again for the same fucker. Don’t make fun of Americans for re-electing G W Bush (Dubya) even though they made fun of him from day one, went ahead and re-elected him even though he managed to ruin his country’s financial status. We in Bahrain make fun and wonder how idiots in the western world get re-elected while we do the same by going and re-electing the same baboons who failed us in the previous terms.

So based on all of the above, we can only expect to see the same happy shiny people who plagued the pages of our newspapers and media for the past 8 years. They will continue to get huge payments while turning their backs on the people. They will keep on pulling off a “Street Fighter II Alpha Turbo Super EX-3 Mega Limited Edition” in the parliament building by landing punches and kicks and even “Hadukens” onto each other’s faces. They will continue to promote hate and sectarianism throughout the country while sitting back and sipping on some Carrot Juice (which is apparently only reserved for council members and journalists only get water or cheap juice) and sucking on that Miswak , and watching the country burn to the ground, still getting paid thousands every month and driving around in their latest Mercs and Beamers. One of them didn’t know how to drive his 7-series because he was used to driving a shit-ass manual transmission pick-up for 50+ years while others were used to khar-gaari’s their whole lives (if you wanna know what a khar-gaari is, go and ask an Ajam or Persian speaking dude).

You see articles like this in the papers more frequently nowadays and they’re all about awareness of not falling into the same shit-pit as the ones before did still you will see people even youth going for the same towel-headed, bushy-bearded, short-thobed mongrels.

Or demands like this that MPs must do more blah blah blah. My friends, those MPs who promised you the world, well not the world, but one of them DID promise to move the airport out of Muharraq! Some of them might have lied to themselves about bettering the lives of Bahrainis but all of that doesn’t make any difference once, just once, that first shiny paycheck arrives; we will all be flipped off.

We will continue to criticize and blame the MPs while there is no one to blame but ourselves for making them what they are in the first place.

I will be selling books like this to those interested. Hey I gotta make some money out of the rest too. It’s not just the MPs that should capitalize on the sheepish attitude of the masses. We have to exploit them to the max too.

One more thing. If these MPs had the least required amount of brain cells for their brains to start functioning, they wouldn’t wait for four years until it’s two months before the elections for them to appear or, in case of re-election, re-appear and start preaching and promising and backstabbing this and tarnishing the image of that to get to the chair. If they were smart they would plan for it ahead and actually make the plan last for four years. It’s just like the World Cup, teams start planning for it as soon as the previous tournament is over. That’s how the civilized world operates. In here, it’s all up to the LMB Syndrome and leave things until the last minute to get things done. And it’s done in all aspects of life. No one does ANY planning at ANY level be it governmental or individual then they blame everyone else but themselves for their misfortune. Like the lady who goes to have her Eid dress sewn at the tailor’s, two fucking days before Eid itself and then starts DEMANDING the tailor to finish it although he has orders pending for Eid for people who actually came in weeks ago. To hell with the rest, do my shit OR ELSE...

I really hate this “OR ELSE...” attitude and I think that unless the people change that. We will as a country continue to travel down the sewer and end up at the dumpster one day. That’s what Bahrainis unfortunately have become, demanding without giving. Every person has rights. But with rights, come duties and obligations towards society and not acting in the manner of fulfilling personal interest. Yes we all have personal interests and needs but our rights should not mean ending others’ rights. The sooner we realize this, the better we will be off on the long run. It will take generations to undo the damage that has already been done…

Vote for this *points at crotch*, biatches. I’ll go work on my elections campaign for 2014...

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Prison Sex...

Please give me a moment to catch my breath... *sigh* Okay that was a good laugh...

So... Problems at Jaw Prison, where prisoners are going on a hunger strike... why? Because the prisoners have a list of demands and they want them NOW! (and I’m not making this shit up, just look at what this douchebag wrote in his letter to the GDN ):

  • They want Razors to shave... they want to look nice n’ clean… (Why? date night
    with your cellmate??).
  • They want lights out at midnight... so they would have more time for gossip n pillow fights…
  • They want the big bad security guys to stop yelling... it scares them... (awww ain’t you a cutie!)
  • They want more play time…more exercise and pumping iron… (So by the time they are out, they would have turned from child rapist, to buffed-up unstoppable child rapist!).
  • They want to be able to order food from outside… (When you get the munchies, nothing hits the spot like a bucket of KFC!).
  • Some actually demanded BlackBerry’s… they need to be updated with the BBM world of 3azeezi n the em-7ashish jokes… of course!
  • A prisoners day out to a shopping mall…(ok I think I had about enough…)

Well, while you’re at it, why not go all the way? How about demanding the government to send you a weekly selection of Moroccan prostitutes for your pleasure? How about a manicurist available on-site? Why not a foot massage? Or better yet.. Why don’t the guards just perform oral pleasure on you and get it all over with...

Seriously, I want someone to explain what the fuck is going on with these people? And by these people I mean the criminals (I actually prefer to call them criminals, but they seem to use the word prisoner a lot, makes them sound more innocent, wrongfully accused and more "politcally correct") and these good for nothing humanitarians... What’s with the sudden rise of hippies in Bahrain? Human rights this... human rights that...

Now tell me Mr. Human Rights activist hippie wannabe, is it considered a human right to kill another human? Is it a humanly right to rape another human? Well you apparently think it is... I had about enough of this “free our prisoners” crap... most of these “activists” are related to these criminals anyway...

Let me give you an insight before I go deeper into this…

This is how Bahrain’s prison looks like...

This is how it should fuckin' be!

Now the issue here is that the prisoners are asking for what’s humanely deserved, like shaving blades and shit... Look, before asking for your rights, have you considered the public’s rights when you did what you did and ended up in that (not so) shit hole? And why the fuck are you complaining anyways? You know that you will be out in a matter of weeks, heck even days!

From what we see in newspaper articles regarding sentences in Bahrain we come to the following conclusion:

• Murder: 5 years in prison.
• Rape: 2 weeks!!! And a pat on the back!
• Burglary: depends on the amount, if it’s:
o 100k+ then nothing
o 1000s: for each 1k = 1 year
o A mobile phone: 5 years!
• Drugs: Life (or 2 years)?! Ha?

Anyways, even if you WERE sentenced, you will be let go once Eid, National Day, Labor Day or any other meaningless celebration comes up, they will let you all free to roam the streets once more, to rape and pillage as your heart desires...

And as for those on the other side, these so called “activists” who happen to be the prisoners' relatives, and have nothing better to do than scribble graffiti on the walls with slogans such as “Free our innocent brothers... Blah blah blah”, why the hell is your son/brother/uncle/pimp in prison? Was he burning tyres instead of going to school, getting himself a degree and looking for a job like the rest of us? Most likely.

I’m sure we have discussed the legal system in Bahrain in a previous article, but if you ask me, I think they should simply apply an “eye for an eye” method. It’s simple and effective, if you kill, you get killed (many countries apply this, why don’t we? Why do we keep these scum living amongst us?). If you rape someone.. you get raped! And so on! (so those wondering what to do with a tyre burner, simple, stick them in a room with a burning tyre for a few hours)...

Hunger strike my ass... You know what? LET THEM! If they die, good riddance!

Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the fucking time!

Doing the crime then pleading to be innocent and claiming to be wrongfully accused of shit you haven’t done, while you family are causing anarchy and riots to let your ass out of prison in which you live comfortably in, and demand to have equal human rights just like everyone else who are on the outside, *breath* is the plot of a shitty TV movie that used to get aired on Friday evenings on channel 55.

Fuck this shit, I’ll go rape everyone that pissed me off today... see you in 2 weeks!

Monday, August 16, 2010

LiB @ the Traffic Department #1: The New License Plates…

So after all these years of writing articles about the bad driving habits of Bahrainis, it has been long overdue to write about those mongrels that regulate and enforce traffic laws. Being the sissies that they are, they apply NO fairness whatsoever in applying rules and bend them, hell even bastardize them, to the extreme and make sure that they are enforced on a selected group of people only. Yes, my friends, we will be taking on the Traffic Directorate today in addition to dissing our regular stupid drivers. Being Ramadhan and the timing to talk about moronic drivers and the douchebags who enforce rules on some only couldn’t be any better…

I will be talking about real-life situations I have encountered with the traffic police in different situations and how those were resolved…

Okay so we got new license plates. To me personally, I thought they look okay. I mean not everyone liked them and I didn’t love them. But the fact that a lot of people who didn’t like them is owed to the numbers being much bigger and easily identifiable. Of course those who speed and run people over then escape from the scene won’t like them. I mean, come on, how would you get away with killing people when your numbers can be easily spotted?

Our new license plates (sample)

So I was at the traffic department the other day and thought “hey since I am here, why not try and go for those new plates?” thinking they were made there and then on the spot according to newspaper reports on the first few days of the launch of the plates. Boy I was wrong!

First of all, the press conference and their PowerPoint press release which is available on their website mentioned that you can get and fill the application form for the new plates at three different locations at the site, the car licensing and registration section in the main building, the vehicle inspection section and the traffic operations (accidents) section in the outside building. The last one, being the closest, was a good option so I parked my car and walked into that operations building ( by the way, that’s the main center for 199 hotline which they NEVER answer). I walk in to see a bunch of traffic policemen sitting there and I went to the reception and asked him about the form and process to obtain those new plates so he told me to check with one of the officers at the desk. And our trip with bureaucracy at its best begins… So I go to one of those pieces of chalk and ask him about the plates. He said that this wasn’t the right place and that I have to go to the vehicle inspection section in the other building outside. What a way to flush press releases and official statements down the fucking toilet.

I start walking in the humid July air which was one of the hottest months since Bahrain started officially recording temperatures since 19-fucking-02. I arrived at the other building half-drenched and ask for the form so was given one and I filled it. Then I thought (hmmm why not do the same for my other car which my wife uses since it’s in my name and will get this over with). So I fill a second form and thought that I will bring the other car later on tonight as they are open till 10pm –or so the newspaper said, which I started doubting since nothing mentioned in the papers made any sense- and went to pay the fees, of course that’s all what the traffic department will ever make you do, PAY PAY PAY. What, you want a new driver’s license? FUCK YOU, PAY ME! You want a new license plate? FUCK YOU, PAY ME! Oh you got involved in an accident even if it wasn’t your fault and want a report? FUCK YOU, PAY ME!

After paying, I was given a couple of receipts and was told to go to this demented building right outside the inspection place... Take a good look for one day you WILL go there and WILL suffer like a dog…

The Zombie House

Went in, a bunch of anorexic girls sitting at the counter, this place looked like a zombie house, a zombie house that produced number plates. I handed the traffic police receipt to one of the she-zombies and entered a few details into the computer and just as I was expecting here to tell me to bring my car for installation, she stamps the receipt with an appointment one week from that day between 4-8pm. What? I thought it was being done within minutes. Apparently, every single person in Bahrain thought of “getting it over with ahead of the rush later on” which caused all this mayhem.

One week later I left work and arrived at the zombie town within the traffic department and of course no one tells you anything so went into the zombie house again and asked the lady where to have my plates installed. Without looking at me she just said: “Go outside”. I mean what is outside and who to talk to? No answer, just another: “Go outside they will help you there”. Of course the zombie bitch failed to mention that my car had to actually be inside their designated parking lot, apparently that’s where the zombies get their power from feeding off our brains otherwise they would be powerless if they left the boundaries. Magic! So anyways I go outside and find a guy walking with a bunch of plates around and people following him like zombies. I told you it was a zombie place but you just laughed at the first lines I wrote about this place! I go to the guy and give him my receipt and he said that there was another guy collecting those receipts and pointed at someone else. I went to that idiot and he said go stand by your car and I’ll collect the thing. I told him that my car is on the other side of the building and he said they wouldn’t serve me unless I was within the confines of their boundary! So I walk back, take my car towards the parking lot only to find that there was a huge line of cars waiting to get in as the lot was full and they were letting ppl in on a car-by-car basis. After an hour and a half of lining up I finally made it into the lot and parked my car. Got down and the receipt guy was there so gave him my receipt. The suffering doesn’t end there. Here is how they work:

1. Guy comes by your car you have to be standing next to it otherwise he won’t collect the thing off of you.
2. Guy collects everyone’s receipts and that gets fucking delayed because of the moronic zombies following him and obstructing him from collecting papers from people who are actually human and naïve enough to abide by the rules.
3. The guy goes into zombie central (the house) and comes back out to collect more receipts from people who just entered the lot.
4. Another person goes in as soon as he’s done with distributing the batch of plates in his hands.
5. The dude brings the new plates and another set of suffering starts, he starts calling out names according to the plates and the receipts attached to them.
6. Once the owner confirms his presence, the dude does NOT hand him the plates (yaza3am security, go fuck yourselves), he calls for a laborer to hand him the plates and install them on the car. Of course, if all laborers are occupied then everything will be on hold until one frees up then gives him the plates and that’s why it gets even more delayed.
7. The laborer goes to your car with his toolkit (and sometimes an assistant! Dunno why!) and removes the old plates, installs the new one. Oh and it is worthy mentioning here that if your car does not conform to the holes on the plates (yes YOUR car MUST conform to the holes and not the other way round), then drilling of your bumper/car body would be required and they will make you new unwanted holes in your car to install the fucking plates.
8. You drive out with the new plates and a few cells blown up from your brain.
That whole process took me around 3 hours. 3 FUCKING HOURS. And the worst part is that ALL of their employees do NOT give a fuck about your complaints or concerns. The traffic police however were open to suggestions. It was the first time I see a public sector entity especially one as arrogant as the traffic police become more caring than a private company who does NOT give a flying fuck about you. Laa and on top of all that, you are a fucking paying customer. Basically the way they talk to you is that they’re telling you to go fuck yourself in an indirect way.

What also pissed me off is the lack of coordination and organization with those mongrels. I mean some people who came 30 minutes after you got their plates immediately after processing the batch, after the dude walks in he comes out only for you to find out that your plates aren’t with him and some people here after you got theirs! I don’t know for the life of me how they work. Completely unorganized.

Does it all end there? NO! I have a second car remember? So I decided to leave it till Thursday morning as the plates are already done and it’s a matter of installing and I know what to do this time. I was wrong AGAIN!

I go there Thursday morning thinking that the line would be much less and that day the car had a problem with the AC the car kept heating up so I had to turn the AC on and off again and again and again as it was fucking hot and it felt like a sauna. Pardon me, it felt like a fucking giant hair dryer coz a sauna doesn’t blow hot air at you! After one hour I make it into the zombie parking lot and gave the receipt to the guy and I waited for two fucking hours this time until my plates arrived. I was there from 9:30 am and a lot of batches came and went and my plates weren’t with them. They close down at noon and there were only 30 mins left until they closed for midday break as the Ministry of Labor imposed a regulation banning laborers from working under the sun from 12-4pm. Anyways I was happy to see my plates with that last batch as they announced that they will not be bringing any more batches. My plates were before last. What luck! Anyways we waited in agony as laborers’ availability was crippled do to them being slow under the sun and being two short after getting sun-stroked. As my plates came up only thing remaining was for one fucking laborer to free up and have mine installed. Their baboon supervisor came and halted the whole thing announcing they will not be installing any more plates. I got furious and told the guy that only two of us were remaining and pleaded him to just finish us and then stop. He wouldn’t listen and gave me his back as he walked towards the air-conditioned zombie house. I tried telling him that I was there since 9:30 am and I was no less than the laborers in standing under the sun for that long but he didn’t even look at me. The Zanzibarian bushy-bearded son of a bitch just went in so I went right behind him and told him that this was the only opportunity I had and I was working abroad. He said “shekho9ny feek ennek teshteghel barra3?” I told him that this was the only chance but to no avail. Here I started contemplating burning tires to get what I want but that’s just not me! Maybe if someone else was in my shoes he would have started talking about this as a government plot and conspiracy but am no conspiracy theorist, not extensively anyways! I shouted and screamed at the guy and everyone looked at me and still he wouldn’t give a fuck. Then their manager came (judging by the tie he was wearing and started bossing everyone around) and I tried explaining to him that only two of us were left and still nothing. They asked if I was willing to take the responsibility should anything happen to those laborers and when I said “Yes I am” they got shocked and saw how determined I was to get my transaction done. Needless to say I still got refused.

I didn’t want my car to leave that parking lot otherwise when I came back at 4pm I would have to line up like a bitch again. So I called my brother and asked him to come pick me up. I went back at 4, thing is, the receipt was with them and so were my plates. I tried to talk to the guy to let him know that I had no receipt and what happened to me at noon but he said “Sorry no receipt, no service” just like that! So I go into zombie central for one last time and this time I was really nearly gonna murder someone and when the anorexic ho’ saw me she remembered me from shouting earlier on and I told her where my numbers were she said that they would be out with the first batch. I told her that I should be served first and since my numbers were put aside anyways bring them out as laborers were there and available. No use, she said to go outside and wait until the first batch came. Went outside and waited for a whole fucking hour to get the first batch out then ppl started following the guy again like a zombie wanting to feed on their victim. No my plates weren’t the first ones but they were there with the batch. Waited another half an hour until they got installed.

Seriously, what the FUCK is up those idiots’ asses? They don’t give a fuck about you, mistreat you and your voice does NOT make a difference whatsoever.

The whole experience was shambolic and I wouldn’t want to go through it again. A couple of weeks later I saw this in the newspaper and it talks about the same situations I have been through.

Then this happened on the first of August:

Good! But what about us who got humiliated and degraded? If it were people who burnt tires, they would get locked up then released on a pardon. No one else damaged would get compensated. It is always people like us who are ALWAYS stuck in the middle and have to put up with both the government and the dissidents and it is always us who pay the ultimate price because our voices don’t matter to anyone.

It seems that the new trend for Bahraini service provision is to degrade and humiliate their paying customers. You are making them a living yet they will make you feel like shit. Forgetting that the customer is king! Just like that VIVA fiasco (don't get me started on that shit! Standing for 4 hours to get an already pre-booked number is NOT cool! But that's for another LiBbie!).

Screw this shit, I’ll go play GTA, at least there I can run people over, one day I will do it in real life…

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Khaleeji Soap… So Cliché

So once again Ramadhan is upon us all. We would like to take this opportunity to wish you all a spiritual and pleasant Ramadhan. You can have a great month by steering clear from morons who apparently increase during the holy month because every single motherfucker out there gets cranky. But that’s not our topic for today as we have spoken about it before and although “التكرار يعلم الحمار”, it doesn’t teach ignorant people who are below animals, even brainwashing doesn’t work with these lowlifes.

<--- Shooji… dyke

We will be talking about the Khaleeji soap operas that flood our screens and TV stations throughout the month, coupled with other idiotic shows such as real bad comedy series or stupid quiz shows such as Shooji and other crap that fills the screen. Only a few shows are actually worthy of watching while the rest lacks any kind of creativity and you tend to watch a series of repeated shit. Just watch one Khaleeji soap opera which means that all the other crap shown follow the same storyline but with different pattern, different ugly characters and different timing. Therefore there would be no need to be torn apart by switching channels whenever you hear “إحنا هنا هنا يابن الحلال، محمصة الجزيرة آخر جمال...”.

On with the show…

LiB’s Top 10 Khaleeji Soap Opera Clichés (in no particular order):

10. The mansion: Seems like everyone lives in a mansion, not just any mansion, I’m talking about the works, MTV Cribs style, with marble flooring, big ass rooms, imperial furniture, 10 car garages and swimming pools, and surprisingly, they are meant to be the “middle class” family in the series (WTF!)… On the other hand, you might have the poor side of the community shown, which they are usually seen living in one of those crappy old skool houses used for shows like “ferjan lawal”, they’ve been using that same studio since 1879!

A “middle-class” Khaleeji home according to our soap operas!

9. The bad seed: Every family seems to have a bad son, that loves nothing more than to party, get drunk and hook up with prostitutes, or/and a bad daughter that happens to be the prostitute! The family members are never aware of their children’s actions, not until somehow by the end of the series, someone discovers it, and thus we get...

8. The heart attack: Usually the father is the one that ends up with it, and it usually occurs after they tell him he’s either broke… or his daughter is a prostitute! This scene usually is the climax of the series, where everyone tries to put their shit together and stick together during the hospital scenes…

7. The will: There’s always a rich dad that’s either already dead or dying (refer to #8) and the fathers will is what his children will fight over during the series, and thus comes the infamous line “Babee3 3iqaraat el walid…”, don’t these fathers invest in anything else other than properties? I would love to see a show where their dad turns out to be a pimp!

6. The date: Every lover in Khaleeji soaps has to end up on the same date, wither it was a secret date or they were engaged, they always end up in some hotel like restaurant with crappy “Kenny G” music playing in the background, and of course, we cannot forget the HUGE fruit drinks in front of them, topped with everything but the kitchen sink; and a tiny umbrella of course.

5. The thought: No Khaleeji soap is complete without an “inner thought” moment, that’s where the camera focuses on the actors face, sad violin music played in the background, and you hear the actor’s voice echoed “as if he’s thinking”… all of course without moving his mouth, but sometimes you see him lifting his finger up when he just thought of an idea, or with his palm on his face when he’s worried (… and the Oscar goes to…)

4. The comic relief: No matter how serious the soap is, there has to be the idiotic character(s) that whenever they show up, you hear the Pink Panther theme song playing, the scenes where they appear usually involves some sort of scheme planning, but since they are idiots, they end up in a (not so) funny scene… gosh I didn’t see that one coming!

3. The Makeup: No Khaleeji soap is complete without the Halloween make up, every girl has to look like either a Goth or a drag queen, tons of eyeliner and whitening crap, long dark fake looking hair (in most cases, they are!), and the disgusting puffed up lips… I know… no amount of make up or any makeup artist around the world could change the fact that these bitches are fugly, but could you make it a bit more realistic? I mean seriously, who the fuck wakes up, gets out of bed with a face full of makeup and a dress that looks fit for a wedding? Even if the bitch is dying… on a hospital bed… full makeup!!

2. The wedding: Someone somewhere at some point of the series has to get married, if it’s the lead role its usually a happy wedding, and its somewhere near the end, everyone’s happy blah blah blah, but sometimes it could be the wedding that changes the course of the series, that’s when the father decides to marry a 2nd wife, a much younger, pain in the ass bitch kinda wife that everyone has to hate, which usually leads to #8 again, but this time with the 1st wife as the one being hospitalized… The weddings are usually very tacky with the most disgusting outfits and make up you have seen in your life (if you thought #3 was too much, then I wouldn’t watch this with a mouth full), and these weddings usually have like 2-3 guests in them (obviously due to the budget, as most of it went to create the bride's face).

And of course… the mother of all clichés… we cannot forget:

1. The Slap: ahhh the infamous dramatic soap slap, you have waited 28 episodes to see that bitch eat palm…you heart is filled with joy and satisfaction as you hear the echoes of the slap bounce across your living room… justice is served.

Fuck this shit; I’ll go watch me some Will & Grace… oh wait

Saturday, August 07, 2010

Burn Baby Burn!

So a lot of people have been arguing in regards to the statement by one of the long bearded no brains MPs which suggested using “live ammunition” on protestors, Either for or against. Well, as much as I hate MPs and I think they are a complete waste of time and space (not to mention money with their fat salaries, fancy cars and the recent fat pension which guarantees them being secured for the rest of their miserable lives while other Bahrainis who elected them scrape for breadcrumbs until the end of the month… but that’s another blog article), he could be getting somewhere with that…

I know, I know… everyone of you turned to a bunch of hippy humanitarians and human rights activists that think this is inhumane. Look at this image below…
THAT’S how it’s fucking done!

Once upon a time in Bahrain it used to about the Shiaa sect groups in Bahrain who were causing trouble and rioting, burning tires and blowing up gas cylinders. But that’s not really the case anymore… EVEN THEY ARE SICK OF IT!

Now I have asked many people that belong to the Shiaa sect, regarding the incidents that are occurring, all responded with “I can’t sleep at night...” or “I’m tired of this shit” or even as simple and meaningful as “FUCK THEM BASTARDS!”…

Now imagine going home every day and seeing graffiti on every wall in your neighborhood... Remains of burnt tires from the night before… garbage dumpsters set on fire in broad daylight… Aren’t you going to be worried about the safety of your family? Your home? Your wife? Your children? Anyone with a heart would not want their families jeopardized or in the face of danger, which is why I sleep with one eye open and a cricket bat next to my bed… (True story). Time to upgrade the cricket bat to that baseball bat!

Solving these people’s problems is indeed the perfect solution to all of this, but that would be difficult if they can only express themselves by burning shit up… they have reached a level of mentality which turns them from humans to wild animals… now tell me, is it wrong to shoot a wild rabid animal? HELL NO!

They themselves don’t know what they want! Some asshole is brain washing a bunch of kids (yes they are kids, I chased a few of them before plus look at the picture below) to go and burn shit and destroy property... I mean seriously, who in the right mind would go and blow up an electrical generator, just so that the electricity in the neighborhood would get cut off, and they end up sleeping in our lovely 45-degree, 100%-humidity weather??? I tell you who… DOUCHEBAGS!

Or lets burn down a store that belongs to some poor Bahraini guy that’s trying to make a living… that lives in the same neighborhood! Seriously… What the fuck!

Plus, and please bear with me, how on God’s green earth would a 12-16 year old complain about housing and unemployment? Go and study hard first and get your fucking degrees THEN maybe, just maybe, you would be able to justify all these unjustifiable acts because a sane person would keep on fighting for their rights in legit and credible ways rather than “twisting arms” or “gimme this OR ELSE” or burning shit up. Only then they would have credibility to gain the support of all people and not just a bunch of loafers. Oh and those who entice these kids, are always on planes out to London where they preach their hatred on the streets, business class, baby!

Let me give you a better solution, Mr. MP: Give me a shotgun with unlimited ammunition, and a license to kill, I will volunteer to patrol the streets of my neighborhood and rid the world from tire-burning scum forever… and I bet I can bring a lot of “Call of Duty” fans along to help me out…

Fuck this shit… I wanna play some real life FPS!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Hands of Fate?

Hey all, it's been a loooong while since I last wrote here, but will try to be a better contributor to this blog and I appreciate the support I get from the LiB Team Leader...

The world is full of stupid dickheads. In fact, I can’t ever underestimate the general population’s ability to amaze me with their idiocy. Every time I think I’ve seen the stupidest thing I will ever live to see, some one else comes along and redefines the standard, setting the stupidity bar even higher.

Here is an example:

They say, “How come it takes extensive training and strict tests to acquire a driving license, while any two idiots are allowed to have children?”

Some would say it’s not the same thing, but if you think about it for a second, you’ll figure out why they’re exactly the same.

Why aren’t you allowed to drive without a license?
Because by driving without proper knowledge & training, you’ll endanger your life and the life of others.

On the other hand, why shouldn’t you have a child without a license?
Because through parental negligence you could endanger the child’s life. Furthermore, through bad parenting you could raise a future set of underachievers, morons and/or potential criminals.

Some people fail the driver’s test several times, while others are failing way-easier tests like stupid IQ tests and profiling questionnaires. I was in a test lately where some candidates were so stupid they were cheating/copying “what field they wanted to work in”. That’s the kind of morons our educational system produces nowadays, they can’t fill any fucking blank space on a sheet of paper unless they cheat it off someone else, even their names!

Think about it. There are morons who are too stupid to drive a car, to learn how to use a PC, put mail in your mailbox, or even speak English (Arabic in some cases). But they can have as many stupid kids as they want. In fact, idiots are having more kids than smart people, because smart people can do the fucking math to know they can’t afford to raise ten fucking kids with the amount of salaries they make.

Couples should have to pass a test before they’re allowed to have a child. Like having medical tests nowadays to determine the parents-to-be's compatibility and prevention of hereditary diseases, they should also be able prove that they’re extremely committed, mentally competent, fully dependable, financially capable and emotionally stable enough to have and raise children. Of course, the question at hand “what is the criteria for this test, and who enforces it?”

Those questions will never be answered in Bahrain, and moronic parents will continue to pop out legions of stupid babies who in turn will produce more scum, and life goes on and on and on…

The recurring incidents of innocent children drowning (3 incidents in less than 6 weeks) because of their parents’ negligence, means that parents are not really learning any lessons from others’ mistakes. Maybe, to those parents, the loss of their innocent child isn’t compelling enough to take extra care of her/him.

People never seem to learn from others’ mistakes, it’s like all those fucking horrific fatal car accidents, people always think that this happens to anyone and everyone but themselves because in their own eyes, they are fucking invincible. Do they have to die in a car crash to understand that they are not? By then it’s too late but serves them right I guess.

What if Criminal Justice throws the loss of freedom into the mix? For parents who think of children as furniture, maybe the only way to save these children is by threatening the freedom (jail time) of their careless parents. Children are not properties; they are the cornerstones of future societies’ development. Therefore, endangering the lives of children is a public offence, and the public bodies should step in and protect the next generations.

Come to think of it, jail time might not do proper justice to the torture the child endured right before taking his/her last breath. Proper justice is – and always has been – eye for an eye: nothing fucking less and nothing fucking more.

The careless father/mother should be drowned to near death everyday for the whole length of her/his sentence. They should fully experiment how it feels to know that this might be their last breath, and feel the water actually filling their lungs. Then a medical team must revive them back using every mean possible (e.g. CPR, defibrillator).

I think that would be true justice to what they did to their own flesh and blood. Some assholes would say isn’t it enough that the parents just lost their own child? The answer is: NO! Since there are parents with no emotional links whatsoever to their children, or those who treat children as easy-to-replace properties, how is the pain of losing a child enough punishment?

Some parents bring dozens of children to this world and let the street raise them, then they complain that they can’t spend good amount of money on them and can’t support them bla bla bla. They then turn to the government for a handout and DEMAND that the government finds them schools, jobs and whatnots. And in turn, those children who look up to their parents, think that this is the way to act and behave so they in turn become carbon copies of their idiot parents and do the same and have children in the same fucking manner…

People who say it was fate and that it was meant to be are ought to be gathered and drowned one-by-one in a very big pool. And we’ll tell them it was fated for them to drown! This was not fate. The drowning of your own child is pure negligence. I assure you God doesn’t kill little babies, stupid parents do.

Another example of bad parenting would be by walking in the streets ahead or behind their children by a considerable distance without holding their hands, making them prone to being run over by an 18-wheeler or even worse, get snatched by a kidnapper or a pedophile where the child will be scarred for life, a fate worse than death IMHO and the criminal getting away with it with minimum fine and 5-star prison time, only to get out and prey on more productions of idiot parents. No wonder we read about child rape cases almost every day in the fucking papers.

And what about those moron parents who “forget” their children in the car to leave them boil and grill in the heat? A lot of children died or almost died that way because the idiot who is called their parent forgot them in the car.

That’s why the attitude of children nowadays in general sucks. Children do whatever the fuck they want and the parents simply either don’t give a rat’s ass to their behavior or are too lazy or ignorant to do anything about it. Then those little demons grow up to see them destroying public AND private property such as destroying lamp posts, public phones, bus stations, burning tyres or trash in the street and the list NEVER ends… A lot of things were put there to serve other people in need of those services and by destroying that shit. You are doing the whole community harm. Be considerate. But these days it’s all about “me” and “fuck the rest, I’m the best!”

The educational system is not perfect. Far from it, but the point I want to make is that when some good teachers try and discipline the child. Their idiotic parents come and unleash hell at that teacher and his administration. They also escalate the matter to the Ministry of Education, who in turn penalize the good teacher just to shut those parents up. That’s why our whole society is a joke and everyone knows it but no one likes to admit it. Bad parents think that they are the perfect family and the rest are trash. Now count every other family that thinks like that and you have a society that the majority are lowlifes but THINK they are superior. Gimme a fucking break, mongrels.

Watch your children, and provide maximum care for them. Then -and only then-, if something bad happened to them, you can call it fate. However, leaving your child (when you know he can’t swim) alone near a swimming pool, or in a locked car or open to snatching and raping by criminals, has nothing to do with fate, but has everything to do with negligence and pure ignorance.

Don’t blame fate for your irresponsibility!