Monday, July 31, 2006

Anger Inc.‎

The comments from the last article inspired one of our writers (the writer of the previous ‎educational article "Work Work… Zug Zug…") to write yet another educational article. This time ‎about anger management which simply gives you tips on how to avoid anger and how to ‎unleash it. Think of this as a “Anger Management in Bahrain 101”. ‎

The following tips will help you avoid anger build-up:‎

  • Avoid driving: Driving in this country is a pain in the ass. Traffic jams build ‎up road rage even for the calmest person. Thanks to Saudi and Qatari drivers ‎and morons from our own country, driving is never a pleasant experience. ‎Unless you’re parked at home, then maybe you’d either suffocate or die of ‎boredom.

  • Avoid co-workers: Most co-workers are a pain in the ass. What’s even ‎worse, managers. If you happen to be one of the fortunate ones who work in ‎a shitty cubicle, then count your blessings, because you can easily go through ‎an entire working day without having to deal with morons. And most of all, ‎try to stay away from meetings, cause meetings are nothing but a waste of ‎corporate time and nothing but an excuse for people to pretend they are ‎doing something creative or making critical decisions, as if you can’t do that ‎over the phone or via email.

  • Avoid work: Instead of getting pissed off avoiding co-workers, just skip ‎work, period.

  • Avoid watching local TV: Local TV stations such as Bahrain TV (Arabic ‎and English languages), still look like the same piece of shit they were back ‎in the 70s and 80s. If you are into retro, and in need of some 80s flashback, ‎just tune in BTV for few minutes (do not exceed 5 minutes, you might burn a ‎few brain cells or actually blow them up) and then simply switch the TV off, ‎or switch to a cable/satellite channel.

  • Avoid extremists: Although its not as bad as Saudi where you find them on ‎the street, extremists can be found in some gatherings, like weddings or ‎funerals. No matter what you do, do not sit next to them, even if that means ‎you have to stand up for 5 hours. If the stink coming from their beards ‎wasn’t enough to make you want to squeeze your balls till they pop, the ‎lectures you’ll be getting about religion and what they think is the proper ‎way of living, is enough to make you kill yourself and 10 others.

  • Avoid shopping malls: As we explained in previous articles, shopping malls ‎are infested with Saudis, Qataris, brats, bitches and fags. So taking a simple ‎‎5 minute walk in any major shopping mall will be enough to make you want ‎to make someone eat their own vomit while you kick them in the jaw and ‎burn their body hair.

  • Avoid Bukawara: Not sure if this needs a lot of explanation, but if the ‎thought of seeing Qataris chasing women and Riffai fucks sitting in front of ‎a grocery store wasn’t enough to make you order the alloy bat, I don’t know what is.

  • Avoid government sectors: Although what seems like a simple task, such as ‎renewing you CPR or drivers license, the 7 hour queue with a bunch of ‎smelly idiots while waiting for his majesty the counter guy to actually do ‎something like stamping your papers “which seams like an ultimately ‎impossible task to him”, you will probably have killed/punched/raped a lot of ‎people by that time.

  • Avoid going out on Thursdays: Where most are probably out somewhere and ‎doing something because it’s the beginning of the weekend. I suggest sitting ‎at home with a good movie/game/book/dildo rather than to try and go out. It ‎would probably take you 3 hours to reach anywhere, and 3 hours to get ‎home, meaning you’d probably spend less than 2 hours doing whatever it ‎was your supposed to do. Or probably not do that because you were late and ‎couldn’t get there on time, or you have killed a lot of people and got arrested.

  • Avoid using the internet: Thanks to our shitty slow broadband connection, ‎just a mere usage of normal browsing to attempts to view some porn, can ‎make anyone frustrated. And if you happen to enjoy online gaming, then the ‎amount of lag can make the best of players feel like n00bs to other players ‎online. Sadly, many a good PC has suffered the tragedy of being thrown out ‎the window.

  • Avoid Radio Bahrain: Didn’t we learn anything from that yet? If you don’t ‎agree with their beliefs that “Britney spears and 50 cent are the best artists in ‎the world”, then obviously you’ll end up punching some poor animal in the ‎face.

I have a feeling I can go all day with the avoidances, you might end up living in a box by ‎the end of the day, so lets have a quick look at some ways of unleashing anger:‎

  • Punch yourself: If you don’t like to start a fight, or end up being jumped on ‎by huge guys (which in most cases ends up you getting raped by them), then ‎punching yourself is always an excellent method to give yourself a time out ‎and think about what pissed you. Which makes you angry again, so simply ‎repeat the process.

  • Get a punching bag: Usually sold in most sport shops, you can get a nice ‎punching bag, or a punching body, which looks like a dude, so you can dress ‎him up with a nice “FCUK” T-shirt and cool shades, maybe add a Gucci ‎baseball cap, and BAAM, punch the shit out of that fucker.

  • Punch FCUKers: Why punch a doll when you can punch a real moron ‎wearing a FCUK t-shirt right in the nose?‎

  • Pre-order a baseball bat: As previewed in the last article, what seems like a ‎good method of hurting Saudis, could be applied on annoying family members and friends too.

  • Masturbate: Unleashing your load is another way to “cool-down”. You’d ‎feel much calmer after you do, and forget about what pissed you off. The ‎only downside of that is that you’ll probably have some sick thoughts of ‎hurting/punching/raping people or animals during the process, which could ‎lead to actually enjoying that shit… Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  • Scream: Although not preferred to do so at home, try driving and screaming. ‎Nothing feels better than screaming your lungs off on your way to and from ‎work, which makes people stare at you and give you weird looks, so you can ‎laugh at them later. Also, I suggest playing some loud Heavy Metal music in ‎the background and creating a backing screaming effect, which makes the ‎song kick even more ass (look for Pantera’s suicide note part 2), and you ‎might actually become a proper black metal vocalist if you keep that up ‎everyday.

  • Kick some brats: Not wise if the parents are around, but tossing/kicking kids ‎around is always a fun thing to do. Don’t hit so you would bruise them ‎‎(leaving evidence behind is not wise), just enough to annoy them, or even ‎make them cry, then sit and laugh while you get away with it.

  • Kick the cat: Cats are everywhere, just take a peek outside your house, you’ll ‎probably find 6-7 of them around the dumpster, sneak behind one and ‎‎*BAAAM* watch the fucker fly.

  • Play drums: If you can’t afford drums, then simply get a bunch of Nido milk ‎cans, and start bashing like a moron. You’ll feel better and make sounds ‎better than the drums on Metallica’s “Saint Anger” album.

  • Watch clips of Chuck Norris: Easily found for download or streaming from ‎several websites. Nothing more pleasing than watching Mr. Norris whoop ‎some ass. Might actually get you pumped to try out punching FCUKers!

  • Call a helpline: Doesn’t matter which one, but your telephone/bank helpline ‎is one way of getting away with screaming at people, and get treated like a ‎king. Make sure they got a “customer’s always right” policy otherwise they ‎might hang up or yell back!‎

  • Write an article about anger: Errrrrrr......‎

Well what do you know!!! That worked... Now I gotta think of something to get ‎me angry again...
That should take like 5 seconds..... ‎

Fuck this, here kitty kitty kitty kittttyyyyy KITTYYYYY......

[LiB Sidenote] I have just read in today's paper this article about changing the government weekend to Fridays and Saturdays instead of the old Thursday/Friday weekend. I was going to write about that, but damn, it's ABOUT FUCKING TIME YOU MORONS. We Bahrainis have been talking about this shit for years yet Qatar went ahead and did it in 2003, and they have been discussing it for years here while the UAE announced that it's going to be effective from 1 Sep. That pissed me off that we Bahrainis are all talk but no action. Finally something good came out of this and apparently and according to the article in the newspaper it means we also get to have a unified weekend with the private sector starting September 1st. Again, IT' S ABOUT FUCKING TIME..... and this goes out to all the fuckers who opposed this. Especially extremists who know nothing but allowing ninjas to drive and fucking dinosaurs who have two years left to go fucking retarded (oops I mean retired) and still they don't wanna change the system, fucking morons, you are going to leave anyways you motherfucking cunts and to those selfish bastards who already share the same weekend days with their wife/spouse/gay ass lover, see, they don't give a fuck about anyone else but themselves, to hell with the others. I say good for you Bahrain, and it's a good thing that the government didn't listen to the shitheads and went ahead with what's good for the country socially and economically. When will the damn retards living in this Retarddom of Bahrain learn to put the group interest ahead of individual interests? Never I guess. Damn, fucking dinosaurs should have gone extinct 65 fucking million years ago.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Come Fly With Me…‎

Summer time, where people try to escape the hell we live in, for many good ‎reasons. Whether it was the unbearable hot temperatures, the shit traffic filled ‎roads, the school kids that infest different areas or simply the people you have to ‎deal with every single day. ‎

Although there are many airline choices now, if you happen to be a moron, then ‎you probably have tried flying with Gulf Air at least once in you life time. But I’d ‎probably think its either you got the ticket for free, or was forced into flying with ‎them, cause honestly I cant think of any logical reason to fly with these people. ‎

Seriously, for a company that has been in the business for almost 50 years (yes, ‎its been that long, Was actually in business since 1950. But the company as ‎‎“Gulf Air” was established in 1974), you think they would actually do something to ‎improve their service. OK, I’m not talking about improving the shitty smelly ‎economy seats (because apparently economy class people are not people, they ‎are insects, lowlifes, e3yaal elkhaddaama*. So they have to thank god they ‎actually get a seat to sit on!!!), I’m simply talking about actually flying ON TIME! ‎

For the love of God! I’m trying to reach wherever I’m going on time. Why do I ‎have to reach everywhere 6-7 hours late? What’s with all the delays? What if I ‎had a connecting flight? Other airliners that are on time won’t actually wait for my ‎highness to arrive. Don’t they have project/schedule managers that actually ‎calculate the time needed to re-fuel a damn plane? Don’t they have technicians ‎that actually calculate the time needed for repairs? Or actually arrange an ‎alternative plane instead of the wing-less one? Or throw us in another goddamn ‎plane for the love of god.... I’m just trying to get the fuck out of here!!!!!‎

This is what happened to me a few years back, when I was still a student. My ‎plane was supposed to depart from Bahrain at half past midnight. It actually took ‎off a whole hour late. I was wearing this damn seatbelt just waiting for the ‎seatbelt sign to go off, cuz I was about to piss in my pants. Plus I was awake ‎since 6am that morning and I was soo tired and also was thirsty. I couldn’t take it ‎anymore so I slept on the hope that I would wake up and the sign was off. I woke ‎up a couple of hours later, it was 3 am now and that seatbelt sign was STILL ON! ‎WTF, I slept again and woke up on the captain’s voice telling us that we were ‎heading to Abu Dhabi, Abu Dhabi? I thought we were heading to London. What ‎on earth is going on? Apparently, there was a problem with the landing gear and ‎it couldn’t go up so the captain was flying on a low altitude and speed. We landed ‎in Abu Dhabi, were kept there for 7 fucking long hours cuz they didn’t wanna ‎replace the plane and analyze the faulty one, they tried to fix it and after 7 hours ‎they couldn’t so THEN they decided to change the plane. This cost me to lose ‎my connecting flight to Glasgow and what did they give us during those 7 hours? ‎A fucking shitty food breakfast coupon. Fucking shitty food which was even ‎shittier than the plane food itself. I’d rather have gruel over plane food.‎

Other than the regular delay dilemmas of Gulf Air, I faced another 6+ hours of ‎delaying just last year when I was in Kuwait. First of all, I had booked a first class ‎ticket on my return so that I earn some mileage to get a better frequent flyer card. ‎On the day of my return and only 3 hours before the fucking flight I was called by ‎the esteemed Gulf Air people telling me that my booking on first class would be ‎downgraded because they had “technical difficulties” with the plane and they had ‎to change it with a smaller one. Why not replace the faulty plane with one of the ‎same model? What a bunch of fuckers. There goes my extra mileage cuz instead ‎of awarding me the full mileage they punish me twice, by changing the plane and ‎then not awarding me the mileage for their fuckup. I sat in the tiny shitty lounge ‎waiting for the flight, when this Gulf Air fucker came to one of the passengers and ‎told him there will be a 2 hour delay. He didn’t come asking for whoever was ‎heading to Bahrain, he just went to one passenger and told him! Then we ‎intervened and had a word or two with this fucker. Then a couple of hours later ‎he comes and says that the flight will be delayed by another 4 hours! And they ‎took us to a hotel room until we got the flight. When we asked why the delay they ‎said that the plane had “technical difficulties”. OH COME ON FUCKERS, all your ‎planes are facing technical difficulties. And all you’re good at is upgrading the ‎planes to your London customers by them being the first people you offer your ‎‎“outstanding” services to. Agool 3oqdat el 7omor lel7een o lain baacher betkoon ‎feekom, fuckers. ‎

I saw a bunch of people I know, that got their plane delayed for 4 hours. Imagine ‎saying goodbye, then see them sit in the fucking airport for 4 hours waiting to ‎leave. What kind of bullshit is that? And it’s not just the delays, bookings are shit ‎too! I know another bunch that got their bookings cancelled. And get this, THEY ‎BOOKED FIRST CLASS! Im not talking about those free ass tickets you get that ‎you have to wait and hope that you get a seat on a plane.. NO! I’m talking about ‎pre-booked full fare first class tickets! Seriously, would someone please explain ‎to me what “booking a ticket” or “reserve” means? Cause I don’t think these ‎people understand what these words actually mean? So let me get this straight, ‎I’m paying for a goddamn first class ticket, and I’m BOOKING a flight on a certain ‎date, only to find out that the plane was “over-booked”??? HOW THE FUCK ‎would a plane be OVER-booked in the fisrt place?? Don’t these people know ‎how many seats are available on the plane? Don’t these people realise that ‎people that paid and booked are the people should get on the fucking plane? ‎Where did all these extras come from???‎

And all this hassle for what? Shit ass seats and crappy flight attendants. And no slutty ‎ones either. Oh and what’s with the crappy uniform? Show some cleavage!!! Make my ‎money’s worth, bitch!‎

As if you’ll see any female flight attendants. All you will see is a bunch of people that are ‎supposed to be “women”, but don’t even come close. Nothing but a bunch of old shits ‎who wear 60s make-up and have wrinkles all over! Mile high club my ass. ‎

Or what’s even worse, you’re probably get a bunch of fucking Bahraini people from Sitra ‎with gelled back hair, and smelling of hair food, who will give you a shitty attitude unless ‎you happen to be from Sitra, then you’ll be treated like a king! Khar kussa maadar jinda ‎pedar sagg**!!!!‎

Then they come and tell me "support your national carrier". National carrier my ass.

Fuck this, I’ll get me a boat and row my way to Thailand.‎

‎*E3yaal Elkhaddama: literally means “children of the servant or housemaid”‎
‎** Intense swearwords, you don’t wanna know ;)

Monday, July 24, 2006

Oh, NO !‎

It seems like, with all the problems that we have in Bahrain, we are going to have another ‎one. And this time it’s environmental. According to today’s article in Akhbar Al-Khaleej ‎they have discovered some slime or sludge near ALBA (who do nothing to contribute to ‎our economy). Some dipshits might say that they do contribute, what’s that? BD 10 or 20 ‎mil? How much did the damn thing cost? There is something called ROI, asswipes. All ‎that besides “under the table” dealings of course.‎

So this sludge was red and lifeless in the beginning, now it’s green and has attracted ‎mosquitos and insects! What next? Fucking mutated life forms? Yeah, like we don’t have ‎enough mutants in Bahrain already. Just go to Riffa, Hamad Town, Isa Town and visit the ‎BDF and police stations and you will know what I mean. They’re infested with mutants. ‎Now this? I hope this slimy stinky swamp doesn’t produce the kind of creatures we only ‎see in movies like Species (I and II) or fucking Total Recall.‎

Maybe ALBA was built by aliens some 30,000 years ago and there is a hidden colony ‎underneath it!‎

Screw this shit, I will book a space shuttle to the Moon, maybe I will find CLEAN AIR there.‎

Sunday, July 23, 2006

This Baby is on its Way to Bahrain…‎

...And it will be ready to crunch some bones hahahahahahahaha.‎

Made with the new Sc777 Triple Seven alloy - the strongest alloy ever made for bats. Total-‎peen, anodized finish. Exclusive new Blasting Cap extends the barrel and enlarges the sweet ‎spot of the bat for improved balance, sound and feel. The extended barrel and Triple 7 alloy ‎construction combine to provide a super-strong bat with explosive power.‎

You see that? Improved balance, sound and feel. Oooh I can hear the sound of battered bones of ‎Saudis already! This thing will teach any trash people to respect my authoritah. With the things ‎have been going on in the Middle East recently. The need to protect ourselves and our families ‎has become a necessity. Too bad we can’t own guns, yet. Wait till World War III erupts then we ‎might have some weapons! Seriously, what the hell is going on? Poor Lebanese people being ‎ravaged by the Israeli army. Regardless of whose fault it is, the thing has happened and that’s ‎that. Now it’s clear to the whole world what America and Britain REALLY think and how ‎supportive to Israel they are.‎

Anyways back to the bat...

This bat will be used to show those Saudis who play with our rules who’s boss. If our police and ‎traffic police forces are sissies. Then I think it’s a national obligation that true patriots show ‎outsiders that they are more than welcome and that we are very hospitable and tolerant as long as they are really cool people and are not ignorant ‎about our rules. It will also be used against our own ignorant people who don’t give a fuck about ‎nothing. This will also be a useful tool against some of our esteemed wrestlers, oops I mean ‎parliamentarians. I suggest that they buy some of those bats to use in their parliamentary ‎sessions. I will be more than glad to be the vendor for these bats and can offer a wider range of ‎variety of bats to choose from. Damn baboons.‎

Another potential victims of this marvelous bat would be the sand-niggers of Riffa who have ‎nothing better to do with their time than loiter around Bukuwara Road and jump with their bikes in ‎front of cars in the middle of the fucking street. What the fuck is up your asses? ‎

I would also love to see this bat come down on the backs of fucked up parents. You know, the ‎ones who are fucked up to the bone and they think that they did a great job raising their shitty ‎spoiled kids. They think that their kids are angels and that they NEVER do anything wrong. Even ‎when there are tons of evidence against them, they still refuse to admit it. Not all parents are ‎shitty, some of those kids are influenced by the drug addicts who live on the streets and some ‎poor parents have given up hope. These are not my concern, my concern is the parents whose ‎kids get caught so they go to the school principal/police officer/judge and shout and scream at ‎them that their kids have done nothing, even if a fucking camera has caught them they still say that the camera is a liar and someone framed them, WHAT? Go fuck ‎yourselves next time, idiots.‎

All in all, this bat will be a great asset and shall be remembered by all in this great country. Mostly ‎will be remembered by the dipshits and assholes and they will eventually learn to respect my ‎authoritaaaah.

How long will I have to wait for this damn thing to arrive? Fuck it, I will use a fire extinguisher for now, it'll have to do.‎

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

"Just Show Your Face Everyday"...

You know why Bahrain will never advance? I mean we do advance but VERY slowly. It’s the shitty mentalities that we have. I mean look, the stone ages ended about 15,000 fucking years ago! We talk about improving efficiency, doing things with less complication blah blah yadda yadda… Go shove all that flashy talk up your asses cuz none of it will ever happen if you keep acting like the shitheads that you are…

We still want people to work like they used to in the fucking 30s. Go to your office on time, sit there, and leave when it’s time to leave. You’re a perfect employee if you do that, apparently. But heaven forbid you should go for a meeting or to another floor or office to get your work done. You’re considered as a lazy bum who’s never in and never gets any work done! Hey dipshits, what about the work that’s actually being done? Eh? Fuckheads? So you want me to come in, sit for 7 fucking hours and then leave. That makes me a perfect worker to you right? Even if I don’t get anything done? What the fuck kind of mentality is that? There are technologies nowadays that allow you to work from fucking Mars without having to physically be in the office. No, you just have to be in your goddamn cubicle until your ass goes numb.

Change is slow, newer leaders are taking over, eventually. Still we see those bureaucratic bullshit going on everyday, and what’s worse. Even the new generation, instead of improving, are turning into a carbon copy of their shitty dinosaurish bosses. Fucking moronic drones.

I swear if I had my own business with a good income, I would never have to work like a fucking slave ever again.

Fucking workmates not seeing you in the office, they go to the big boss telling him that this guy is “never around”. The big boss, seeing your actual work being achieved, doesn’t defend poor me. He tells me to show up more in the office and apologizes to the fucking whining motherfuckers who went petitioning to him. FUCK YOU ALL.

Okay if that’s what you want, I will be your pretty office boy, I will come everyday, even on weekends, from 9-4, sit and do nothing and then leave. I bet I will get a better end of year appraisal than the rest of the dipshits in the office cuz I will be there on time, do nothing and show the big boss my pretty face. Burn in hell dickwads.

Fuck this, I will go rob a bank and go on early retirement. If I get caught I pay a BD50 fine and then live off the hidden cash. Damn.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Fuck Summer...

Summer is here, or I think it is. One day we get a 50 degrees centigrade temperature outside. The next day is cloudy and windy… Oh well who cares, let's hope it passes fast cause the heat is really getting to me...

Went a bit off-topic there. So mainly, summer time is where kids finish school and university. And start rampaging in the streets (kinda like those monkeys mentioned in Akhbar al-Khaleej on 12th June). With nothing to do but sit around for hours and hours doing absolutely nothing. Seriously, I don’t understand what’s with teenagers and sitting in front of a grocery store… what’s up with that?? Where’s the fun in that? What's the fucking point? I actually went there the other day (and by there I mean the damned Bu Kuwara Road), and actually sat next to a grocery store, where a group of annoying sand-niggers were sitting a couple of feet away. I sat for a minute before I lit a cigarette and started smoking, finished smoking in like 2 minutes, then got bored, and left...

I swear I tried, I just didn’t get it, and what is it all about? Why do I wanna sit on my ass for 6 hours in front of a stinky grocery store in a stink shit-filled neighborhood??

And for our Manama friends. Adliya Road is probably the equivalent to the shitty Bu Kuwara Road, where guys sit in front of 2 famous “sitting” spots, Habara Restaurant and Suraj Shawarma place... and of course you get the annoying bikers who just hang in front of Katkoot restaurant and rev-up every once in a while, then sit on their asses for 5 hours, before revving up their motorbikes again…try actually riding the fucking bikes you fucking good-for-nothing morons!

And of course, summer time is where you get annoying university trainees. Our company is infested with them. I mean my floor alone has around 10 annoying students. The guys are a bunch of geeks, and girls look like a bunch of whores who try to impress some hot-shot manager to hopefully fuck them and buy them a car!

I come to the office now and it somehow feels like Dairy Queen in Salmaniya where all these annoying student fucks hangout. I'm trying to get some work done here. How can I get anything done when this bitch next to me is on the phone like 7 hours a day, while chewing her gum like a prostitute? And of course you get some other girls from other tables running around flirting or being flirted by the older employees, and non stop giggling…OH GOD MAKE IT STOP!!!

Maybe if these fucks actually tried learning something instead of giggling and SMSing each other all the time, they might get decent jobs when they graduate...

*Silent Pause*

Can you believe this shit! HAHAHA I crack myself up… HAHAHA getting jobs HAHAHAHA

Well…Maybe if their daddies had good connections they will... otherwise... GOOD LUCK! HAHAHAHA getting a job… damn that’s funny...

Man, with the shit going on these days, it doesn’t matter if you have a PhD. It’s who you are and who you and your daddy know that gets you a job!

Oh well that’s life… or is it? Summer blows. Maybe it's time for a vacation… Come to think of it, I don’t have any vacation days left!!!

Fuck this, I'll go ride with the Adliya bikers, maybe I'll fall and get me a sick leave...

Monday, July 10, 2006

The End of a Long Month…(a.k.a. The Other Side of the World Cup)

For a person who doesn’t give a shit about football (That's soccer to those idiots who call a sport where someone running HOLDING an oval shaped ball in their fucking arms FOOTball), this has been one hell of a month. Thank god it’s all over…

All I heard, all I saw, fucking football fever everywhere. People at work didn’t stop talking about it, people at coffee shops, people on the street, people on the net, every-fucking-where. I got so sick of that goddamned round ugly ball being kicked around…

Yes, I was invited to watch a few matches with a bunch of guys here and there. And I was entertaining myself by playing a song or a movie in my head. That really helped me to get through the long hour and a half of boredom.

I was with a bunch of guys watching the final match last night (not that I wanted to be there but I was invited, plus they offered me dinner so I went). And through the match everyone was yelling and screaming and shit. In the end we cheered and clapped for both teams for giving a good show and trying their best, and drove home.

Sadly on the way home, I went past Adliya road. Boy I wish I didn’t. Everyone was honking their horns and waving Italian flags and had their faces painted and screaming and getting out of their cars and shit. For a minute I thought there was a riot going on or something of that sort, but it was just a bunch of morons celebrating Italy winning the World Cup…

Ok, I understand you watching the game whether at home or outside and cheering the teams during the game. But what the hell is that all about? All you hear is a bunch of morons yelling “We won, we won”. We did??? I had to look at my passport for a second to make sure I was still in the right country. We won?? What the hell did we win?? And if we won, then who the hell are we??? Last time I checked, our country didn’t even come close to getting into the World Cup, not even winning anything!!!

Ok, so I understand you dipshits cheering for Iran (since 70% of Bahrain’s population have Iranian roots), or an Arab team since our shitty team could not make it amongst football's elite. But Italy?? My mom didn’t tell me that we had family in Italy, nor have I ever been there… No one told me that people that live in freej el mukharga have Italian roots?? And people from Matam Bin-Saloom are originated from Sicily??? Or dipshits of Riffa and Isa Town came from Milan and Rome. Gimme a fucking break… *

We won my ass, you didn’t win shit. THEY DID!

Fans celebrate Italy's World Cup win outside the team hotel in Berlin

And some guys at work came up to me and asked me whether I won or lost (by that apparently they meant whether I supported France or Italy). I just gave them a grin and said “I didn’t win anything. Italy won, so congrats to them”… We won my ass, I don’t remember seeing you running around the field sweating like a bitch for 2 hours???

I actually saw an Italian guy that works with me. And I congratulated him on the win, because HIS COUNTRY won. Not yours, not ours…Fucking good for nothing nincompoops…. And besides, it was his country that won and he didn’t seem to give two shits about the whole thing anyways although Italians are known for their flaming passion for football, so who should be rightfully celebrating…. Eh?

Fuck this shit, I’ll go watch the Teela** championships……

*This is just to clarify that the areas of Bahrain we used are simply to emphasise the "Italianization" that some actually claim! YES! Bahrainis claim that they are so close to being Italian that only their names are not Italian! What the fuck!! Not that all are from these areas, this is for pure entertainment only.

**Teela: Marbles (the ones that kids play with).

[LiB Teamleader's comments: Great article by our (other side of...) member, he is also the one who wrote the other side of F1 article. This is just a reminder that we in LiB Team have different opinions and interests and that you might find some of our articles contradicting, it's cuz not all are written by the same person.