Friday, December 30, 2005

Marriage and Diversity...

You know how it is. You meet the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You become friends, and then close friends, you date, and at the end, you’re inseparable. You ask her to marry you and she agrees. You tell your parents to call her parents. And then it hits you like a six-wheeler heading to Hawaii: She’s Arab, you’re Ba7raani*; she’s 3ejmiya**, you’re Hoolee***… Her parents do not want her to marry you because you’re different.

WHAT THE FUCK?! What is with this jahiliya**** mentality? Why the fuck does this country still have parents that use ethnic and religious backgrounds as valid reasons not to accept a person for their child’s spouse? It’s the 21st century man! I mean I thank God there are parents here that look at the person as opposed to that person’s religion. There’s still hope for some of us! But why, oh why, do the ignorant fucks still exist? What will happen if a Ba7raani married a hooliya? A thermo-nuclear reaction?! A little diversity is good you dumbasses! You don’t wanna stay in the same gene pool! You’re kids’ kids will end up disabled or stupid! Look at the rednecks! You don’t wanna start a tobacco-chewing redneck community here in Bahrain now, do you?

So many hearts get broken this way, including parents’ hearts. One of the worst things to do in the world is to do something without your parent’s blessings. And there are people that do it; they feel they have no other choice when they find “the one”. It’s sad when you’re celebrating your wedding without your mother because she’s against you marrying someone of a different Islamic sect.

Parents: stop and think about why you’re opposed to that person. Look at that person without thinking about their ethnic/religious background. If you find something you don’t like in their personality, fine that’s fair enough. At least that’s better than brushing someone off without giving them a chance simply because your parents did the same. If you're rejecting someone based on your "failed" experience, you should know better not to let the same happen to your kids. Look at a person's qualities rather than religious sect or background. Our great prophet Mohammad (PBUH) once said "إذا جاءكم ممن ترضون دينه و خلقه فزوجوه، إلا تفعلوا تكن فتنة في الأرض و فساد عريض".***** There must be a reason why your child loves that person so much! They’re not just gonna pick anyone off the streets like that! But if you keep doing this, they eventually will!

Give us all a chance. Grow up!

-- LiB Teammate's comments: These are mentalities that create a bigger hole amongst people as they don't embrace diversity. Apart from genetic and religious impact of this backwardness, this creates another problem. Let's say that this girl doesn't get married and she's so heartbroken, she will go out with this person behind their parents' backs. Or even worse, they might end up being whores throwing themselves at anyone's arms which in turn will raise the rate of prostitution in this country which is already high!

*Ba7raani: Pronounced Bahraani. which is a proper pronunciation of the word "Bahraini" in written Arabic. Of the Shia religious sect.

**3ejmiya or 3ajam: Pronounced Ajam. People of Persian origins. In proper Arabic, Ajams is used to describe any non-arabs be them Persians, Hindi, European, American etc. Also of the Shia sect of Islam.

***Hoolee: Pronounced "holy". People who moved out from "Arabia" during the Islamic middle ages and settled in the southern parts of modern day Iran, some villages there still speak pure Arabic while some developed their own dialect of Persian language with Arabic terminologies. These are from the Sunni sect of Islam.

****Jahiliya: The period before Islam.

*****Basically what this Hadeeth or saying by our great prophet Mohammad PBUH means: "If someone comes and asks you for your daughter's hand who is a devout practitioner of religion and has great manners then don't hesitate to approve, if you don't then it's a big loss and disastrous for the society"

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Snapsots...

Here are a few pics I was able to take after we wrote about them, you will find these morons' pics and if they were related to a previous post by us, they will be linked to that article. Have fun!

Okay this one is related to the Bedouin Wannabes… article. Look at the antenna, I think this idiot still thinks he's in a bumper car in Adhari Park, maybe he thought he would need something to get the electricity to the car just like those bumper cars =D


Okay, in this pic, I am waiting at the red light to turn left, this motherfucker came in front of me and in the middle of the fucking road, not giving a rat's ass about me, why doesn't he want to wait behind me? It was 11:30 pm! There were no other cars waiting in the lane behind me, then why is he bypassing? I guess he's a moronic retard. Fucking sand-nigger. Oh, and he went on before the light turning green, I should have videoed him, damn. This pic can relate to the Shitty Drivers… article or the Morons on the Road… article.


"Ooooh look at me, I don't give a fuck about civilized people, they are sissies, proper parking is for sissies, I will just park here and run my errands". What on earth was this guy thinking? Now this guy doesn't has a shitty car. We said it before, it's not a rich fuck thing, it's a shitty asshole thing. Check out our Parking Politics… article.


Again, back to our Parking Politics… article, this asswipe is parked as you can notice in the middle of the fucking road! Look at the "virtual" ra9eef* right in front of this car, he's parked right at an intersection! Who the fuck does he think he is? Typical Bukuwara Road Bedouin wannabe sand-nigger.


Will keep you updated with more snapshots from around the retarddom of Bahrain.

*Ra9eef: pronounced "Raseef" meaning sidewalk or curb.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Sluts Rights Activists!‎

I was browsing through the newspaper the other day and I had the laugh of my ‎life when I came across this bombshell of an article:‎


Translation:‎

‎“With confidence”… A college girl demands her “freedom” with her ‎boyfriend!‎

A young Bahraini woman stood in court confidently admitting that she has an ‎intimate relationship with her boyfriend and that she has had sex with him in a ‎parking lot, excusing her actions by saying “What I have done is part of my ‎freedom… We are in a democratic country and my boyfriend is going to marry ‎me anyway.”‎

The judge did not like the gutsy young woman’s remarks so he scolded her ‎saying, “Our country is Islamic before it is Arabic.” He sentenced her to three ‎months in prison on the charges of public indecency.‎

It was one of the patrol cars that arrested the girl as she was in an intimate, hot ‎position with her boyfriend in a car park.‎

Her defense attorney’s case was built around considering her university ‎circumstances and her young age, but the court was having none of it as she has ‎passed the age of 21 years, supporting its judgment on Bahrain being a kingdom ‎that respects the rules and does not imitate the west. And she was sentenced to ‎be imprisoned for three months according to rule 350 in the Laws of Criminal ‎Punishment.‎


What kinda drugs has this slut been munching on?! Democratic country? Part of my ‎freedom? What is this, Jerry fucking Springer?! This bitch has been fucked so hard she lost her ‎fucking mind! Who the fuck gave this slut the idea that she can stand up in court ‎‎(impressive that she could still stand after all that ass action), and teach the judge about ‎what she can and cannot do in this country? What nerve! What's next, sluts rallying in exhibition road for the right to fuck in public places? Gay rights rallies?! Fuck that, over my dead body, not in my kingdom! Oh and respect to the boyfriend that actually ‎convinced her that he’s gonna marry her. Yeah, right! You think someone would marry ‎a slut like you? Not just a slut, but fucking PROUD of it! I bet she knew, and she was ‎just using desperate excuses when she figured out that all that was coming out of her mouth was a mixture of semen and bullshit! ‎

Kudos to the judge, man! Swift and fair justice, no fucking around, just threw her ‎straight to jail for 3 months! And I commend the lady who wrote this article too. Check ‎out the wording! “She was caught in a hot, intimate position with her boyfriend in a ‎parking lot.” HAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA! Not only is she a slut she’s a ‎fucking parking lot slut! I mean forget the fact that having sex before marriage is wrong, ‎but what about the fact she was doing it in public? A fucking parking lot? You must be ‎real desperate for cock, bitch. And respect to the defense attorney not trying pull off any ‎hotshot lawyer tactics and sticking to the “she’s just a stupid kid” case. Did she actually ‎think she could win the case? Maybe if you flashed your boobs to the judge… ‎naaaaahhh. ‎

I know there are a lot of guys out there who actually want this shit to happen. They want ‎girls to be open (literally), and unfortunately there are girls who agree and provide this ‎for them. Look at the west that you’re trying to imitate here: you get teenage pregnancy, ‎bastard children and an increase in venereal diseases since kids have no fucking clue ‎what safe sex is! There are good reasons why Allah banned sex before marriage, so why ‎do you challenge His word? You think you don’t have freedoms because you can’t have ‎sex before you’re married? Look at Palestine. Look at Iraq. Look at all these countries ‎where people fight for food, water and liberty, facing death everyday. Consider yourself ‎lucky for being able to walk down a street without getting shot, you ungrateful bitch! ‎

Right, fuck it! I’m checking myself out for herpes! ‎

Monday, December 26, 2005

‎96.SHITE FM‎


‎“Yooouuu’re listening to the guuulf’s nuuuuuuuumber ooooonnnne! Radio ‎Bahraaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiin!”‎

Fuck off with that ancient fucking jingle I’m fucking sick of it! Why the fuck are we still ‎using it? It may have been good back in the fucking seventies but face the facts people ‎the world of radio is evolving TRY TO CATCH UP! And who said 96.5 was the gulf’s ‎number one? It’s fucking shit! You should see the state of the studio. It’s absolutely ‎horrendous! Like a fucking prison cell! They didn’t change anything since they first ‎started! Even the phone when you call 17780780, you think there’s like a fancy ‎switching system to organize the calls? No, no. It’s a small wooden box with 12 light-up ‎buttons of which 3 are only used for lines. So the next time you call DJ Damian (real ‎name Gupta Kumar) you will know why it takes so fucking long for him to answer.‎



<-- Borat

But respect for DJ Damian for making the radio a bit less grimace-inducing as it used to ‎be. At least the guy speaks proper English and plays up-to-date music of a variety of ‎types. Radio Bahrain made the right move when it came to him and Krazy Kevin. But ‎then why the fuck did they keep that pedophile sounding DJ what’s-his-face who all the ‎Philipino women love? You know, the guy that says “well hellooooo… juicy groovy” ‎OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP! And who the fuck taught you how to speak ‎English? Borat??? Also, I heard this guy the other day… something Dawood can’t ‎remember although I should coz he’s a fucking dumbass... He kept boasting about how ‎he’s part of the “new youth generation taking Bahrain by storm.” La storm wala hom ‎ya7zanoon you’re a repetitive idiot with a mic my friend. Although respect to the track ‎selection homeboy you got it laid down. Too bad you can’t speak English properly or do ‎a decent mix!‎

And what’s with this attitude that the radio was made for the foreigners? I don’t know if ‎it was originally but come on! It’s doesn’t take a genius to figure out that most of your ‎listeners are Bahrainis! We speak English too you know. And even those who don’t ‎know a word of English still listen to some western music at least! You know like Bob ‎Marley or the Eagles (some of them only listen to those two, and by the way, only one ‎eagles tune: “Hotel California”). Hell you can see sand-niggers of Isa Town singing a ‎Bob Marley song like they were brought from Jamaica itself, yet they can speak ZERO ‎English let alone understanding the language. You got teeny boppers calling in every ‎morning and every afternoon on the way to school and back. Shouldn’t that be enough of ‎a hint for you stupid asses? Why service the needs of the minority of people who make ‎up the foreigners and leave us the Bahraini western-music fans to be the supplementary ‎beneficiaries? ‎

Acknowledge and address us you idiot DJ fucks: We’re Bahraini. So FUCK THIS, I’m ‎gonna go listen to my Gypsy Kings CD.‎

Saturday, December 24, 2005

Parking Politics...

You know when you buy a brand new car and you step in to smell that brand new car smell, you can’t help but feel attached to this fine piece of machinery. You don’t go too fast on speed bumps and you’re careful opening the door so as not to get it scratched. But what about the idiots who don’t care about their cars? They must be so jealous of my car! If they park next to me, they will surely try to bang their filthy door onto my sweet little mean machine! There must be a solution.

I know! I’ll park like a brainless retarded moron and people won't dare do anything to me! I mean I have a nice car right? No one will mind =)

WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE ASSHOLE?! Who gave you the right to take up two parking spaces? Do you own the cinema? The parking lot? Great, now I have to reverse and park outside the cinema complex IN THE SAND!

Rich fucks… But you know what? It’s not a "rich fuck" thing! Check this guy out:

He owns a Ferrari. Now this is worth a lot more than a fucking Porsche Boxster, and he’s only taking up one parking space. And look what he’s parked next to! A Toyota Tercel! He’s not afraid that the owner of this unfortunate car will angrily bang the door against his! So what the fuck is up that Porsche guy’s ass?

Here is another example that it's not a "rich fuck" thing rather than a "shitty good-for-nothing fuck" thing, it's not about money, it's about fucking attitude, now if the Porsche guy was worried about his car, what the fuck is this guy worried about?

Now don't let the dark grey lines deceive you, and look at the guy, he's parked right on the white line, and even if you look at it, he's parked right on the other dark grey line, so either way he's parked wrongly, there is a perfectly complete parking spot wasted. Would a couple of centimeters hurt? Or is he a fucking retard? He just came and parked without looking at the line, which is the case with a lot of assholes that we have.

"Oooh look at meeeee! I own the road! The cinema belongs to my daddy! I’LL JUST PARK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD!!!"


Ok now this picture will seem normal to you:

Until you notice that they’re not actually parking spots these cars have been parked in! What the hell? Stop blocking the way out you dumbasses! I hope some ninja gets freaked by this blockage and rampages her way out of the mess leaving these cars scraped and scratched to fuck!

Look at this guy with another Ferrari. But notice, he parked so neatly. It’s exactly between the lines. Kodos!


So we may not be lucky to drive Porsches, but when after we got our licenses we STILL parked properly. You think if you own a nice car people will excuse you to park like a monkey? Oh wait, I’m gonna have to apologize… I insulted the monkey. Give other people the convenience of a parking spot! There are families that also like going to the places you go to. What makes you better than them with respect to where they park? You take two parking spaces, the place fills up, people will get pissed off when they see your car! It’s more prone to being keyed now than ever! This isn’t a warning by the way, it’s a fucking threat! The next time I see a car parked like that I will take my key and scrape the side so deep you’ll have new aerodynamic air-holes. You’ll thank me for this, assholes!

Damn this, I'll go key some cars...

--LiB Team Comments: We would like to thank one of our biggest fans, Intoxicated, for providing us with these priceless photos. Many thanks to you =)

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Union of Boredom (UoB), a.k.a University of Bahrain…

I came across an article in the newspaper which brought back old memories and how angry I was back when I was at Uni. I was more pissed off then than I am nowadays at sand-niggers, mowaleed 7waar* and shitty fucking drivers. But ninjas still come in No.1 in the ultimate list of big time piss-me-offs!

This is the article:



Translation:

Smile, for you are in the University of Bahrain

To all full-time and part-time students…
Let the smiles be shining on your faces always, for you are in the university of Bahrain.

Dear students…
If you want to see how an ant colony attacks a piece of cake, then all you have to do is go to the registration section during the add and drop period!
And if you wanted to lose 3kg of your weight DAILY then all you have to do is go back and forth to building number 40 on foot!
And if you discover at the beginning of a semester that your timetable has NO subjects at all then smile, you’re in the University of Bahrain!
And if you wanted to know the latest rage in fashion, mobile phones, makeup trends. Go to the University of Bahrain and you will definitely smile =)
If you were hungry and want to have a scrumptious meal then go to the food court. But beware, you might end up spending all that’s in your wallet but never forget to put that smile on your face!
And if you do manage to finally graduate from the university and you never got to see [His Excellency] you academic advisor’s face not even for once. Smile!
And if you wanted a signature from [his highness] the head of your section, then wait for one whole week, but smile!
And if your eyelids don’t close at night and you cannot remember how delicious sleeping felt, in the name of studying to the extent of hallucination with numbers, years and names, and in the end you get an “F” then smile, you’re in the University of Bahrain.
And if you come one day trying to find a parking spot for an hour until the lecture time is over then smile!
And my dear father, if you want to enroll ALL your kids at the University of Bahrain then think again as exemptions have been ceased and expenses have increased dramatically. But don’t forget to smile!
If you have Vitamin (W) [meaning WASTA**], then you will be in a good health and shape, away from the “add and drop” diseases and the full medicine.
The “A” grade has become a dream everyone is wishing for and the “E” is what everyone gets. However, the hope in graduating remains even after a while.
My dear university…
I apologize, as I am honored to be one of your graduates.
With sincere thanks and gratitude.
[The most sarcastic woman in Bahrain]


Look at what kind of shitheads we had/have to deal with in this shithole of a university? I remember when I was studying there 5 years ago, I had just started work and was working shifts. I went to change from part time to full time and they refused immediately without looking into my case! I had a letter from my employer stating that they needed me mostly for night shifts therefore attendance of evening classes would be difficult but nooo, they don’t give a shit about human beings! They want to allow changes to people who either bribe them or do them sexual favors. Or, of course, you can use a was6a** if you have one. Just like a typical government ministry!

I spoke to a lot of different people back then, and I discovered once that someone I know knew Dr. Isa Al-Khayat (Dean of Registration) very well. She tried to talk to him about my case, changing from part-time to full-time too, yet he still refused to do anything and said that it’s impossible for ANYONE to do that. If that was true, you so called doctor, fucking dicksuck, then why on earth were Saudi female students allowed to change? Were they giving you blowjobs? What the fuck? Are you trying to be Clinton now? This is the kind of fucked up people we have to deal with in this country: People with a power trip who think they own everyone, and they consider everyone their bitches. As usual, there are rules but they do not apply to everyone. Why put rules and regulations in the first place if they apply to a selected number of people? Why do you want to deprive them of their dignity? Well I guess they’re doing this in uni to prepare people for their harsh lives ahead of them. Well in that case, I think it’s a good idea! People WILL face situations like this in life here in Bahrain. Well, Mr. Dean of Registration, how would you like to suck my dick with no teeth? Wouldn’t you like a taste of your own medicine? Motherfuck.

Plus the university itself is all shit. They don’t teach you anything properly and they give you tons of non-related subjects, resulting in low GPAs. Or worse, you get nerds memorizing every word in all of the books, just to get that 4.0 GPA, and then they graduate with zero understanding of what they studied! When they enter job interviews, they’ll be fucked!

Oh fuck, I can’t even go on anymore. I am too tired to get into detail. The whole educational system here is a joke. Kids were always raised to think that you need a 4.0 GPA or top grades to get the best jobs. None of us are properly skilled unless we learn on our own time. No wonder why America and Europe will always own us!

Fuck this shit, I need a teethless-dean-of-registration-fuckhead blowjob.

--LiB Team Comment: I was trying to find a picture of Isa Al-Khayat, so I googled his name, wanted to highlight that he is the devil, but couldn’t find any, you can click here to check out all images on the uni server. 50 google search pages, yet not a single picture of that dicksuck. Is he a fucking vampire or something?

* Mowaleed 7waar: This means "Born in Hawar Islands". A term used to describe the Syrian and Jordanian Bedouins who were "brought" to Bahrain and were given the Bahraini nationality on the spot, so in the passport, their place of birth is "Hawar" islands, despite being a desert island and no one lives there.

** Was6a: Pronounced "waasta" which means to use your power, influence or aquaintances to get something done, bypassing all rules or policies. It's a common thing in Bahrain and you have to resort to this measure to get your errands done on time and without hassle. Otherwise you will have to suffer and beg like a dog to get things done.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bedouin Wannabes...

If you’re retarded (meaning you happen to fall within 80% of Bahrain’s population), then you're probably one of those idiots that drive around all day, wasting BD10 on fuel, and basically doing nothing but polluting the air and throwing garbage on the street. Oh, and running out of brain cells if already not.

As we explained in our previous posts, Bahrain has many of what you can call “love streets”, where people spend all day just driving around like a bunch of good for nothing bastards, and so many different types of retards can be found on these streets, like the gangsta wannabes who drive around in their 1980 Nissan Z’s, or the whores that wear ninja gear and dance and flirt with boys thinking that they are invisible cause they’re wearing covers 'n ninja masks, and rich fucks that ride in their Bentleys with 24” chrome wheels, and not knowing anything about money cause daddy got it for them for being a good boy and eating his vegetables, and you get the confused frustrated idiots who accidentally ended up on one of these streets and got stuck for 2 hours in the traffic, struggling to get out, and of course last but definitely not least, the Bedouin wannabes.


Over the last 2 years, a weird new (something) started to spread around the country like a plague, people apparently think it’s cool to look like a Bedouin! Now this is obviously the influence of out neighboring countries (since they actually have REAL Bedouins that live in deserted areas, in tents and ride camels, the whole shebang), but how the hell did this thing end up here? We don’t have Bedouins, and didn’t have any since the 1930s, so why did they all start to appear now?

If you're having trouble spotting a Bedouin wannabe (if you're blind it's ok, you're forgiven), here are some pointers that could help you recognize these fucks:

 Driving around in a 4X4, mostly it’s a Nissan Patrol, and in some cases a Land Cruiser.


 The cars are usually old models (minimum 5 years old), have dent bumpers and a rusty looking body/paint job.
 Huge balloon wheels (this is what they actually call them cause they look like balloons, they are apparently made to drive on soft sand, not pavements).


 Very long aerials sticking out of the rear end of the car (above 15 meters, seriously).
 A sticker with an Arabian nick name at the back of the car.
 A picture of a falcon or a dead leader, or both together, on the rear window.
 Extremely loud Bedouin jalsa* music, for everyone else it sounds like what should’ve been the soundtrack of "The Exorcist".
 Driver and passengers have light beards, or if they cant grow any, weird sideburns.
 The ghitra** is worn as people from UAE do, known as a 7amdaniya***.
 Long messed up hair sticking from underneath the 7amdaniya.
 Annoying clapping and in some cases, one of the passengers ends up covering his face with the ghitra and dancing on the roof.
 Big exhaust pipe to create a really loud annoying noise. Also known as "Fart Cannons".


Now, I know that these people actually exist in other gulf countries, but how did it end up here? Why did it become cool all of a sudden to dress up and act like “modern” Bedouins? No one has an answer to these questions, but what really irritates me, is that none of them actually have full Arabian roots! Yes, most of these Bedouin retards you see are in fact descendants from Iran, their families came from Iran, their parents speak Persian, but do they actually admit it? No way, they will deny it, and ignore the truth. Why? Why would you wanna be someone you're not? It's not something to be ashamed of. In fact, defying your origins is shameful indeed. Be who you are, you're not fully Arabian, yes you were brought up and raised in this country, but don’t ignore he fact that you're origins are from somewhere else.

Shame on all you fuckers who pretend to be someone else, if you guys wanna be camel fuckers then fine with me, but I'd rather be called a mahyawa**** maker than a fucking Bedouin any day.

Ride this *points at crotch*, I'll go eat some falazeen*****.

--LiB Teammate's comments: "Of course this is not bashing at the people being Bahraini. On the contrary, they should be proud that they're Bahraini. The thing is that they forget their roots. Look at immigrants in the US, Canada, Australia etc. They say that they are originally from X country, be them Italian, Greek, etc., and that their roots are from there, there is nothing wrong with it. Except for some, and I repeat, some Indians who also forget their roots and go "I am Canadian" and some shit like that. I have seen and heard it with my own eyes 'n ears. So these are now acting all arabized whereas their origins are from other places. Again, I don't say go about switching your loyalty, you're Bahraini. But for fuck's sake, look at your face, look at your accent, look at your last name! It all gives who you are away in just 4 seconds flat. Why deny who you are? Okay maybe some won't recognize your origins in 4 seconds, they probably have Down Syndrome or something like that, it actually takes 'em two extra seconds to recognize it. So for crying out loud, STOP ACTING.

*Jalsa music: A type of "live" Arabian music where they gather and sit on the ground and sing and clap. Some sort of folklore music.

**Ghitra: Part of the Arabian traditional dress which is a piece of cloth put on the head, topped by 3gaal "Agal". The Islamic extremists often wear it without a 3gaal, only the Ghitra itself.

***7amdaniya: Pronounced "Hamdaneyya". A style in wearing the ghitra, rolled around the head like towel heads with a tail. It is a style worn mostly by people from the Emirates.

****Mahyawa: A Traditional kind of meal created originally by the inhabitants of the Southern part of Iran which consists of dried fish and water to create what we can call "Fish Sauce" which can be used then to put on top of bread or puffy bread to give it a tangy taste.

*****Falazeen: A thin bread "Almost like tortillas" topped by drops of mahyawa which is a very popular meal eaten on breakfast or as a snack.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Happy National Day Indeed!

First of all, Happy National Day, Bahrain.

The national day is an occasion for the whole nation, it's not only political, it's a symbol, a mark of an era. A symbol for the people. We're not gonna get political 'n stuff as usual. Once again, we wanna highlight the assholes that make us look bad who were as usual ruining the beauty of this occasion.

Of course this is a happy occasion, and to celebrate it is not bad or something you should be punished for. However, if you were in Bukawara Road this evening you would have loved to shoot some sand-niggers, Saudis and fucking Qataris who were driving back and forth as usual but in greater numbers tonight!

One of the cars I saw had their kids sitting on the edge of the window holding Bahrain flags. Would you wanna have your kids with NO safety at all to sit on the edge of a car window holding onto a flag instead of something to prevent him/her/it from falling? I saw a kid who nearly fell because his shitty ninja mother hit the gas suddenly and the kid nearly fell. Damn! What the fuck was that?

Here is a pic I could take of a kid sitting on a car window edge holding a flag.

No wonder these shitty kids turn out to be shitty adults who will in 10-15 years have their turn to be good for nothing fucks to roam around the "love streets" of Bahrain.

Here is a video I took of a Saudi fucker who had half his car on the pavement and his other half on the road. We had a fucking Saudi wannabe comment on one of our previous posts that Saudis are good and they own us 'n shit. Well I hope this is good enough proof for your blind eyes you fucking camel jockey. Now I know not all Saudis are bad but these are the ones we do see everyday. So don't come blaming us for criticizing you. Even the American Department of State has some caution for those Americans traveling to Saudi, highlighting the way they drive. See how tarnished your image is? So shut the hell up and stop being a cry-baby. 90% of Saudis are savages. LIVE WITH IT.

TRAFFIC SAFETY AND ROAD CONDITIONS: While in a foreign country, U.S. citizens may encounter road conditions that differ significantly from those in the United States. The information below concerning Saudi Arabia is provided for general reference only, and may not be totally accurate in a particular location or circumstance.
Short-term male visitors may drive on their U.S. driver’s license. American men employed in Saudi Arabia should obtain a local driver’s license with the Department of Traffic Police. Women are not allowed to drive or ride bicycles on public roads.
Traffic accidents are a significant hazard in Saudi Arabia. Driving habits are generally poor, and accidents involving vehicles driven by minors are not uncommon. In the event of a traffic accident resulting in personal injury, all persons involved (if not in the hospital) may be taken to the local police station. Drivers are likely to be held for several days until responsibility is determined and any reparations paid. In many cases, all drivers are held in custody regardless of fault. Those involved in an accident should immediately contact their sponsor and the U.S. Embassy or nearest U.S. Consulate. http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/cis/cis_1012.html



The road was PACKED with Qataris and Saudis who were holding Bahrain flags, now we all know that they weren't holding those flags for the love of Bahrain, they are here to score some chicks who were displaying true whoreness tonight. They also had their car stereos at full blast and bringing their heads out and screaming at everyone they saw. The only thing they didn't do that they were so close to doing is to flash their tits at everyone they came across! Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people? I mean it's okay to celebrate the national day, but do it moderately and in a civilized manner. Here is another video of different kind of morons who were at Bufuckingkuwara Road tonight, ranging from bitches, Saudis, Qataris and Bahraini sand-niggers to kids who were carelessly riding their bikes with no caution to the heavy traffic on the road. These are people who obviously have nothing better to do with their time or a better contribution to society, bringing their kids with them to teach them what to do with their spare time instead of going for REAL events that were happening during the national day holiday.

When will these people learn? Do they use the internet often? I want them to see this site and see what kind of fucked up things they are doing to our name as Bahrainis.

When will these negative fucks stop what they're doing? I think never!

Screw this shit, I'll book a flight to Guatemala.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Happy 'Mini' Birthday, lifeinbahrain!!!

Well it's been a month since we started, and boy that month was filled with events, I feel that we started this blog not last month but last year! This was a thing I wanted to start a long time back. But didn't until it just struck me exactly one month ago! I just had to start writing about what annoys me, I informed a couple of friends and they were in the team with me straight away!

And on November 15th 2005, Life in Bahrain was born!


We're a "core" team of 3 members under the name "LiB Team", then we have "HaloweenHarry" and The "Cynic" who contribute from time to time with useful posts but are not as aggressive as us. However, they are good for all the cry-babies who complain about our approach to posting. The "Parental Advisory" sticker was put there as well just for those cry-babies. I suggest another thing also, use Johnson & Johnson Baby Shampoo cuz they use a new and improved "No More Tears" formula which can stop you from crying, dipshits.

Cry-babies aside, we have had great feedback from a lot of people, either through commenting on our various posts or by e-mailing us. Many thanks to all who supported and encouraged us to go forward.

We will be going from strength to strength, and will continue to do what we are doing. A little notice though: Some people asked us why we don't write about the government. Well it's not that everything is perfect in Bahrain but government bashing isn't our style, we decided to leave that to its people. We focus on the people's attitudes and behaviours which makes every true Bahraini out there sad, frustrated and angry.

Finally a repeat of thanks to the team, our supporters and whoever wrote us or commented on our posts. And a special and BIIIIG thanks goes out to the dipshits who made this happen, keep doing what you're doing. You never know, you might end up in here one day =D

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Being Bahraini...


Look at Dubai. Look at all the fantastic architecture built and on the way. It is almost ‎scary how fast and efficient that emirate is when it comes to its development. But it’s not ‎just tall buildings; have you seen the hotels? The resorts? The shopping malls? Intense ‎We go to Dubai once every three months just to see what’s new! Some areas become ‎almost unrecognizable!‎

<-- Burj Al-Arab Hotel in Dubai

Why not Bahrain? Well I’m not gonna go deep into economic and political theories and ‎conspiracies coz that’s not what the LiB team does. The fundamental reason I will be ‎explaining is simple: We don’t deserve it.‎



I mean don’t get me wrong, I think we as a nation do; we the people of the kingdom of ‎Bahrain who care and love for our country and work hard to keep it safe, economically ‎sound and a great place to live, deserve it. But, unfortunately, there is a great majority of ‎people here that do not give a fuck about Bahrain or its people, and only care for ‎themselves, the bunch of selfish pricks!

Bahrain Financial Harbor --> ‎

You see them everywhere! Where you work, where you shop, even when you drive! ‎Like the company employees that slack and delay their work because no one else can do ‎what they do and they’re too fucking lazy to finish it at a normal rate. You have ‎customers to serve man! If you don’t do your job, people will complain! At the end of ‎the day the slowness will domino onto the customers’ requests and this will further prove ‎to them that things aren’t done as efficiently or professionally here as they are outside of ‎Bahrain.‎

And what about the driver that pulls up and throws out his trash in the middle of the ‎fucking highway! Do you like driving through garbage? Do you like the sound of ‎crunching cans under your tires? Is this how you spend your day at home? You walk ‎around eating bananas all day and throw the peel on the floor, huh, Monkey Brain?! ‎Garbage smells for fuck’s sake! But I guess you wouldn’t be able to notice since you ‎smell like shit yourself.‎

There are real smart payphones in the UK that you can send emails, faxes and SMS’s ‎from. How long do you think these would last here in Bahrain? The average lifespan of ‎a normal payphone in Bahrain is 23 hours, 14 minutes and 37 seconds. I would expect ‎the high-tech ones to be killed off in 3 seconds flat. I guess people are so superstitious ‎that the bright lights from the monitors scare them and they fear they will bring a deadly ‎curse upon them and their children YOU FUCKING IGNORANT SHITHEADS! It’s ‎because of these people that when companies get introduced to great and innovative ‎technological ideas, they just dismiss it for the reason that “it will be abused” or “no one ‎will use coz they’re retards and they’re not up to date with technology.” Trust me man, it ‎goes way past not up to date with technology.‎

My advice: Grow the fuck up. Think about what you’re doing before you do it. Change ‎your fucking attitude because you’re acting like children! “Why should I do it if no one ‎else is doing it?” Well if you don’t do it WHO THE FUCK WILL? Work as hard as you ‎can, if not for your country, for yourself and your family! There’s no harm in more ‎money is there? And what about some recognition? People DO get recognized for their ‎work. “But sir, I work so hard and no one gives a shit!” Then there’s something wrong ‎with your boss (this will be discussed in another article). If he doesn’t give a shit, go ‎higher. His boss will love to know he ain’t doing his job right! At the end of the day, ‎your company will do better, your customers will be happier, and more money will flow! ‎Good shit gets carried forward just as well as the bad shit!‎

Look at your country. Just stop and look at it! Find out what’s wrong with it, but don’t ‎just live with the problems! Do something about it! Anything! Aren’t you sick and tired ‎of being branded by the phrase “lazy Arab?” I swear man it ain’t difficult! Can’t you ‎wait until you can find a trashcan and throw your rubbish there? Yes it can be that ‎simple. ‎

You’re complaining because we have problems. Good! That’s step 1: recognizing the ‎problem. But what about step 2? No it ain’t “let’s just sit and watch as we live our lives, ‎side by side, with our beloved annoyances.” You have to tell people about it! But you ‎know what? Chances are people already know about it. So go on to step 3: tell the people ‎who are concerned. Usually, we are ALL the people concerned. If not, let them know! ‎Show them! Do rallies, write articles, use art and music; anything! It will not go ‎unnoticed. Since you’re already acting like children, then you’ll probably react the same ‎way: you’ll run to your room and slam the door, but we all know you were listening. But ‎you don’t have to sit in your room and cry about it. Get out and show everyone you ‎recognize the problem too and that you WANT a solution to it. If you have a solution ‎then broadcast it, don’t leave it to yourself. If you don’t, tell as many people as you can; ‎you never know who might come up with a great idea. The more people you tell, the ‎more people will think, the better the chances of finding a solution; it’s math people. ‎

Act like you deserve better. Make them see that we deserve better. Change your attitude. ‎Be proud: You’re Bahraini.‎

Monday, December 12, 2005

Bitches!

First and foremost, let’s explain to you how a 7jab* should be worn. It’s a piece of fabric ‎that is worn on the head that hides the woman’s hair and neck completely. To a lot of ‎people in Bahrain that rule is bent; they show a little hair or show their neck or ‎something. Who the fuck do you think you are bending Allah’s rules? No it’s not ok to ‎show a little hair or neck! Also, most of these people wear tight clothes with it. What the ‎fuck is the point of that? It’s like wanting to buy a car, but drawing a cardboard cut-out ‎and coloring it in and pretending to drive it, making your own sound effects and all!‎

I am not against people who do not wear the 7jab. It’s none of my business to interfere in ‎such matters. I am concerned about those who wear it inappropriately and JUDGE those ‎who do not wear it. Do you have mirrors in your bedroom? I mean you must do coz you spend 17 hours a day painting your faces. But can you really see yourself? These women need a bitchslapping session, snoop doggy dog style! EITHER DO IT PROPERLY OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL! AND DON'T GO ABOUT IMPOSING YOUR SHITTY ATTITUDE ON OTHERS. Just like ninjas, they want all others to be fucking garbage bags like they are. What the fuck? Do it yourself and be a quiet shitty slut about it.

And what’s with the temporary conservativeness in Ramadhan about? You see girls ‎going to coffee shops wearing the 3abaya** and/or 7jab and after Ramadhan they ‎magically transform back to their original whore-like nature. Wow, thank you sluts for ‎making Ramadhan easy for us! It seems that the only reason they dress conservatively ‎for that period is to stop people from gossiping about them. HOW FUCKING ‎RETARDED CAN YOU GET? If you already go to a coffee shop and smoke sheesha, ‎people WILL talk about you regardless of what you’re wearing and when you’re wearing ‎it! And for the record, I’ve noticed that most of the women that do this have a big ass.‎



Roughly translated, in this cartoon you see this biatch wearing revealing clothing but put on a Hijab or a headscarf on her head and saying:"I decided to put on a Hijab in Ramadhan" And the guy is saying "I am fasting oh God!" and as you can notice, the properly dressed lady is having a big "WTF" drawn on her head. Which brings me to this question "What the FUCK?"

Hypocrisy is the keyword here boys and girls (and so is irony). People are quick to judge ‎others before looking at themselves. All they see in the mirror is “oooh is my make up ‎right?” They should really be saying “am I doing this right?” People, please, take a ‎measly few seconds to THINK about what you’re doing before you act. And for those ‎women who are wearing the 7jab properly and dressing appropriately with it: we are very ‎proud of you and you are setting a great example for our young muslim daughters. Keep ‎it up!‎



Translation: The lady at work is saying:"To mark my appreciation to my fellow workers' feelings during Ramadhan, I decided to put on Hijab" and the guy says:"God bless you, you have met the objective" (being sarcastic of course!) another WTF here!

* pronounced Hejab
‎** pronounced Abaya‎

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Driving Through Thick Fog... (Or Through Thick Brains?)...

Not a day – nor hour – passes without being hit in the face with issues that beg to be written about. Most of the time, the issues are so numerous that we lazily let them go without so much as a disappointed sign or a rageful grit of the teeth. Sometimes they slap us so HARD that they cannot be ignored. I was driving to work the other day when another absurdity grasped my attention.

The weather was almost clear when I was stopped at death-row. Waiting and praying for the traffic light at the Sitra Bridge to sympathize with us late-for-work drivers and shine its peaceful green light upon our desperate souls.

Crazy Kevin was giving golden advice, assisting drivers through the fog. He reminded us more than once to keep our fog lights on when in foggy areas. Crazy Kevin is not only a very funny and cheerful man, but also wise and caring towards road safety since his show is mostly heard by drivers on their morning's errands (schools, colleges, work, etc.). So, when Crazy Kevin speaks, listen, instead of killing time checking your hair!

As I said the weather was fine near the Sitra Bridge, but once I reached the 3D Bahrain map at the American Embassy traffic light, I began to realize the area become foggier indeed (see the picture below).



Following Crazy Kev’s advice I flipped my lights a notch to switch on my fog lights. Then I started to keep an eye for other drivers who might have found their own brilliant ways to fight this alien phenomenon. And that’s when the idea for writing this slapped me hard across my face. The genius in the picture below was thinking that since he cant see the sun, then it must be still night. So, he decided to switch on his full beams. This father-must-be-proud-of guy has almost blinded me and the other drivers on the opposite lane.



Another Master motorist passed by me with his Hazard Lights on. He thinks that since the fog can cause accidents, he must be in a hazardous situation; this must be a call to my Hazards Lights. Anything that can be considered hazardous (like rain, wind, etc.) must be why they invented those lights for in the first place, other than making it “legal” to double park or park in the middle of a busy road.



Now look at the guy in the pickup. He is signaling to switch to the left lane, so I’m gonna give him a chance. (faint left turn signal)



Hmm, yet another reason not to use hazards in foggy weather. He wasn’t signaling left! His car was warning me of an unseen danger! I was ignorant of the danger, but that quick thinking pickup driver saved my life.



What's wrong with this guy? Maybe I should get down & offer assistance.



Wait a second, if you cant use your hazard lights to tell other drivers that you're slowing down, park wherever you want or to feel like your having a party in the fog, then what the heck are these nifty things for ?

Traffic Rule #96: Hazard warning lights. These may be used when your vehicle is stationary, to warn that it is temporarily obstructing traffic. Never use them as an excuse for dangerous or illegal parking. You MUST NOT use hazard warning lights whilst driving unless you are on a motorway or unrestricted dual carriageway and you need to warn drivers behind you of a hazard or obstruction ahead. Only use them for long enough to ensure that your warning has been observed. http://www.highwaycode.gov.uk/08.htm#96

What impending doom are these guys warning me of?



People need to start getting educated. Driving means you become part of a system, not your personal racetrack. What's to stop the magnificent thinkers amongst our drivers from inventing new ways to use other parts of their cars to give signs to other drivers? Maybe some drivers will start using wind-shield wipers as a sign that their fuel level is low; or maybe they’ll use the wind-shield fluid dispenser to inform you of their thirst; and maybe others will open their right window when they want to turn right and open the left side one to turn left.

The possibilities are both monstrous & endless. Why can't they just start with buckling up & not running red lights?

-- LiB Teammate's comments: This article was jointly written by HaloweenHarry and our newest member, "The Cynic", whom we would like to take the opportunity to welcome aboard. Whoever wants us to post about any thing that pisses them off, and preferably with a backup of photos, can do so by contacting us on lifeinbahrain@hotmail.com

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Shitty Drivers...

Last night we "Yes the whole LIB Team! Except for one" wanted to buy a mini-fan so that we could have a barbeque, we went to Bukawara Road in Riffa to see if there was an electrical appliances shop. There was NONE! The road is like a breeding ground for restaurants, as if obesity isn't an issue in Bahrain, clothes and tailoring shops and fucking car accessories shops for all those goddamn ricers* who fill our streets with their shitty attitudes.

The road has been recently rebuilt and it looks much better than the shithole it used to be. However, as it has always been and I guess always will be, it's always full of sand-niggers and morons who have nothing better to do with their time. This is their sole contribution to society, a negative one.

They have added new traffic lights at an important turn so that the flow of traffic is controlled and maintained. And to prevent traffic jams (which will NEVER be resolved ever unless they shoot all those sand-niggers), they have put a "NO U-turn" sign on the traffic light so that no one U-turns. But as you already should be aware from our previous posts by now, some Bahrainis think that rules are for sissies and they don't apply to them! Well here is some new evidence!



The bastard cow dung of a driver U-turned despite the other side being so busy, not caring about the signs or other people behind him. Can anyone get me an AK-47? I need one for such fuckfaces, so that next time when he breaks any law, I shoot him between the eyes. A fast and effective painless death. But wait, he gets a fast painless death for such a thing? No, I think he should get a slow painful death so that he regrets doing this, he won't regret it in any other way. I suggest slashing him with razor blades, soak him in a tank full of aftershave, then slash him some more and repeat until he goes mad, then bring a chainsaw and cut off his legs, then soak him again in aftershave, bring a hacksaw, cut off his arms, repeat soaking procedure and so on… until dead. Sweet!

Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with these people, will they ever learn? Why do they think that rules don't apply to them? What makes them so special? I think that if we had people enforcing and applying the law to EVERYone without differentiation, we would see some positive results. What a fucking waste of processes and policies.

* Ricer [risse-urr] N.
[Ricer: from the latin word Ricarius meaning to suck at everything you attempt]
A person who makes unecessary modifications to their economy sedan (mostly import cars from japan hence the term "rice") to make it (mostly make it look) faster. The most common modifications are


- Huge exhaust that serves no purpose but to make the car louder
- Large spoiler on the back that looks like something Boeing made for the 747
- Lots of after-market company stickers they saw on cars in the Fast & Furious
- Cold Air Intake- a tube that feeds cold air to their high performance hamsters.

Most of these riced cars (a.k.a. rice rockets or rice burners) are imports; Honda Civics, Accords, Integras, Mitsubishi Eclipses, Toyota Camrys, Corollas, however there are some American cars such as Chevrolet Caviliers, Dodge Neons, Ford Focus; small, slow, economy cars designed specifically to go slow.
The ricer attempts to make their car "performance" by adding the modifications listed above. These ricers are not confined to any one ethnic group or color, however different ethnic groups are known for certain styles. (example: Fucking Qataris=Land Cruisers; Saudis=Camels Bahrainis=Honda Civics; etc..) These crackers are also known to talk a lot of shit about their cars too. The best place to see a ricer is in his native habitat, Seef Mall parking lot, Najibi Center in Saar, Alawi Complex in Nuwaidrat, Exhibition Road, Adliya Road, Jid-Ali Road and Bukuwara Road.

Here's an easy tool that shows you the main parts of a rice.
Any combo of 4 or more of the items below classifies the car as rice.
• Huge spoiler
• Neon glow underneath (street glow)
• Many meaningless stickers
• Japanese writing of any kind
• Racing stripes
• Silly-ass body kit
• Lowered to far
• More than one exhaust (that came with only 1 stock)
• Huge stereo

You can drop the Traffic Directorate of Bahrain a line to let them know about shitty drivers and that they too are shitty law enforcers on http://www.traffic.gov.bh/

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Cinemaniacs and cine-retards...

Tired of sitting at home all day beating your head against the wall? Tired of driving around the streets of Bukuwara or Jid-Ali* over and over again til you run out of fuel or brain cells? Tired of sitting in the coffee shops inhaling Sheesha smoke til your lungs bleed? Well, let’s face it, there’s not much else to do in this country. Your only options are either sitting still in a dark room silently like an idiot, or stuffing yourself with meeno and crystal like the pig that you are.



A popular alternative (whether alone, with a group or with a member of the opposite sex) is going to the cinema and watching some old movie (yes, old! we get movies like 6 months later than the rest of the world! Well, maybe before Sri Lanka). On a more positive note, the cinemas here did improve a little bit. I remember the days when we had to wait for a whole year for a movie to come out! But those days are over, thanks to DVDs and torrents! We can watch a clear cinema quality movie on our home theatres, complemented with a 5.1 digital surround sound systems. But no matter how good your system is, you can't beat the huge projector screens or the booming sound of the cinema speakers. Popcorn at the cinema always tastes better than the shit u microwave at home too!

Now I’m gonna take it easy on the theatres we have here. I mean I know they're shit compared to the ones abroad, but they did improve. They aren’t as crap as Awal Cinema, and we use to go there religiously in our simpler younger days! Today's topic is mainly about the cinema goers.

A-HOLES! One of the many words that describe the scum that keep going there. I’m not saying everyone that goes to the movies is an idiot. In-fact, there are so many dedicated movie fans who go there (believe it or not) for the sake of just watching a movie! You can spot them sometimes. The next time you go to the movies, wait til the movie starts and look around. You might see some people that are actually WATCHING the movie, as opposed to the cine-retards that have alterior motives.

Why? Is it really cool to throw an annoying comment in the middle of the movie out loud so you and your friends laugh out like a bunch of good for nothing morons? Is it really cool to howl like a cartoon wolf whenever you see a bit of cleavage (we're talking PG-rated cleavage) and then laugh like a bunch of fucking retards about it? Is it really necessary to switch seats while the movie is running? Is it really cool to laugh like a bitch during a serious plot-significant scene?

We've all been there. We were all teenagers at some point right? Loud, obnoxious, rebelious... Hey, it's all part of growing up. But these morons are over 25! How much more growing up do you need dickwads?! You and your buddies don't fucking own the cinema, it's there for other people too! It ain't your fucking living room you stupid fuck. It's a public place!

Sadly its not just the “guys” that are fucking everything up, the girls are at it too, with their annoying non-stop giggling, or the loud drooling over Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. No, seriously. I had to sit next to a bunch of 16-year-olds during the “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie, and all I kept hearing was “oh he’s so hot, he’s so cute, I wanna marry him…”

TAKE IT OUTSIDE BITCH! I didn’t pay to hear some goddamn bitch feel herself up whenever Johnny Depp comes up! Do that shit at home you skank!

Speaking of annoying bitches, here’s another incident that happened recently: I was at the movies the other day and had a bunch of empty seats next to us. Then some women came and sat in these empty seats. Apparently, those seats belonged to some other people who came in a bit later. So the guys who actually owned the seats came in and were all confused and shit. They told the security guy who works there, and the guy just replied “So? Just sit wherever.” And the sad part is, that those guys (I actually felt sorry for them although they were the loud shitty type) were seated apart after they had booked their tickets together and BEFORE those bitches came in. What the fuck is that all about? What’s the point of booking tickets when fucking ill-mannered hussies can walk in and take my Goddamn seats? I didn’t come early in the morning to buy fucking tickets for a midnight show, just so some bitches in short skirts can just waddle in and take my damn seats! That’s some fucked up shit! As with any other system in this country, there are rules. But does anyone give a fuck about them? HELL NO! It's like they're saying "Rules are for sissies." Well then call me a law abiding sissy, but you will always be dicksucks to everyone!

Thank God those laser pointer days are over. But you never know, these fuckers always come back with something new and improved! And what about those annoying loud 3araboo** ring tones on their mobile phones? How many times do you have to be reminded to switch off your fucking phone?! Clearly displayed on the big fuck-off screen in front of you just before the movie starts is a kind request to switch off your phone before so everyone can enjoy themselves, written in both English AND Arabic. Would you like the cinema usher to come and switch it off for you? OK then we'll also get a toilet attendant to hold your dick while you piss and wipe your ass when you're done taking a dump in his lap you lazy jerk-offs!

And what's with all the Saudi people? Not all of them are fucks but a lot the ones that come to Bahrain are. I know they don't have any cinemas back home (what a stone-age country) and that they come here to escape the pressures of their dull constricted lives. However, when you go to the cinema you should stay quiet and watch the movie (the occasional laugh in a comedy is permitted), not shout your lungs out about the Ethiopean hooker that slapped you the day before! There are Arabic subtitles available so Arabic (as you don't understand a word of English) so it's no excuse for you to ask outloud "duuuhhhh what did he say?"; that is, if you can even read Arabic you iliterate camel jockies. What the hell? One time I was watching this really cool film, and this Saudi fucker kept kicking my chair and he and his loud Bedouin fucks for friends were talking fucking loudly (and again, I mean football stadium loud!). Gladly, the cinema usher told them to shut up, which they did... for about 5 minutes. Rules and etiquette just don't apply to you people, do they? Next time, I will be bringing some lighter fluid with me. And whoever makes the slightest noise will get a generous splash to sting their eyes, and the last thing they'll see is the slow motion of a lit matchstick floating towards their face. Respect my right to enjoy a film in peace motherfucker! Respect my authoritaaah!

Blow this... I'm renting a DVD.

* These are "congregation roads" that guys and sluts drive through, back and forth, for hours on end. Known as "love streets," they are the vessels that harbour the bad habit that was induced by sheer boredom of the Bahraini (and Gulf in general) youth.
** (Arabo) of Bedouin origin.

To check the latest movie schedules, check out the Bahrain Cinema website and the Dana Cinema website.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Overnight Experts...


As small as our beloved kingdom is, it contains a large number of accents depending on ‎the area (which can be a few square meters) people live in. There are just as many types ‎of people residing here too. These include the quiet “mind my own business” type, the ‎loud and obnoxious “I don’t give a fuck but you have to notice that I don’t give a fuck” ‎type, the extremist “INFIDEL!!!!!!!!” type and many more. Today, we will talk about ‎the Know-it-All “Glory Hunters” (less formally, the “I am an expert in this field although ‎I have only heard about it 23 seconds ago” type).‎

Take this example: we are the proud hosts of the Formula 1 race in the Middle East ‎Region, and have been since April 2004. This is a major event and, naturally, everyone ‎will be talking about it. Even the old geezers were saying something about a “Four ‎Mullah*” event which was gonna take place.‎

I’m not bothered by the number of people talking about the F1; on the contrary, it was ‎exciting. What pissed me off was the sand-niggers who INSTANTLY turned into F1 ‎gurus who were the only people that knew anything about it (as in, no one else did) and ‎considered themselves a terabyte-sized database of Racing knowledge. What the fuck? ‎REAL F1 fans travel around the world to see the F1 races and never miss a single lap (not ‎even for toilet breaks). These low ranking BDF fuckers wouldn’t go to Sitra if the next ‎race was there. As a matter of fact, the only reason they go to the track is to see chicks, ‎be them Bahrainis or the Ferrari girls (who I must admit IS a good reason to go but right ‎now, it’s not why they say they go). Screw you assholes! You didn’t even know what a ‎track marshal was until you found out girls can join! And now that everyone is talking ‎about this event, you wanna act like you have been following this sport ever since you ‎were that lucky little sperm that wasn’t stupid enough to die before getting to your ‎momma’s should-have-remained-unfertilized egg! I myself am not into motorsports, ‎although I do express my interest into them since they have become a part of our ‎country’s identity. That is not, however, reason enough for me to go around telling ‎people I knew Michael Schumacher’s underwear size (if you do know this then I’ll admit you’re ‎an F1 expert… a sick one but an expert nonetheless). What if Bahrain built a space research ‎facility like NASA. Will these guys jump up and explain quantum physics to us all of a sudden?‎

These bung-holes are also classified under “Glory Hunters.” What a bunch of wide-assed ‎hypocrites. Example: 88% of Manchester United fans (of which I am a VERY big fan of ‎since 1987). The red devils started to truly shine again back in 1993, and I was trying to ‎follow them however I could, which unfortunately does not include going to a match ‎‎(yet!). All of a sudden (this is still 1993 by the way) the whole of Bahrain became Man ‎U fans. All of them pretended to know everything about the club. I asked a few of these ‎people questions they should know the answers to, like the club’s heritage and history, ‎and they knew absolutely NOTHING. It’s like, as far as they’re concerned, the club was ‎founded in 1993! What a waste of brain cells, pretending you’re a huge fan of ‎something. And what’s even more irritating, is their replies: “You think you’re ‎knowledgeable? Do YOU know any of that info?” As a matter of fact, dickhole, I know a ‎lot more about Man U than ALL of the info in your thick brain (if any). Man U got a bad ‎stint for the past two years and haven’t been as successful as before. So what happens? ‎Those people are now BIG Chelsea fans coz they’re doing better! Gimme a break! ‎

These people need therapy. They are compulsive liars. They lie just to get attention and ‎they probably believe the lies that they tell because of how many lies they barf out ‎everyday. If they cannot be treated, then our only use for them is to round them up, tie ‎them together, stick em into a giant hamster wheel, and let em all run together, generating ‎enough electricity to get Al7ala** powered up. A great solution for both the government, ‎environmentalists and us, the citizens of Bahrain who are pissed off about the existence ‎of such scum.‎

Screw this shit, I’m late for the Man U match.‎


* Roughly translated, this phrase means four clerics.‎
‎** Pronouced Al-Hala, an area North of Bahrain (some say it is part of Muharraq, others ‎say they are their own country)‎

Check the Bahrain International Circuit website for info about the upcoming events on http://www.bahraingp.com.bh/