Overnight Experts...

As small as our beloved kingdom is, it contains a large number of accents depending on ‎the area (which can be a few square meters) people live in. There are just as many types ‎of people residing here too. These include the quiet “mind my own business” type, the ‎loud and obnoxious “I don’t give a fuck but you have to notice that I don’t give a fuck” ‎type, the extremist “INFIDEL!!!!!!!!” type and many more. Today, we will talk about ‎the Know-it-All “Glory Hunters” (less formally, the “I am an expert in this field although ‎I have only heard about it 23 seconds ago” type).‎

Take this example: we are the proud hosts of the Formula 1 race in the Middle East ‎Region, and have been since April 2004. This is a major event and, naturally, everyone ‎will be talking about it. Even the old geezers were saying something about a “Four ‎Mullah*” event which was gonna take place.‎

I’m not bothered by the number of people talking about the F1; on the contrary, it was ‎exciting. What pissed me off was the sand-niggers who INSTANTLY turned into F1 ‎gurus who were the only people that knew anything about it (as in, no one else did) and ‎considered themselves a terabyte-sized database of Racing knowledge. What the fuck? ‎REAL F1 fans travel around the world to see the F1 races and never miss a single lap (not ‎even for toilet breaks). These low ranking BDF fuckers wouldn’t go to Sitra if the next ‎race was there. As a matter of fact, the only reason they go to the track is to see chicks, ‎be them Bahrainis or the Ferrari girls (who I must admit IS a good reason to go but right ‎now, it’s not why they say they go). Screw you assholes! You didn’t even know what a ‎track marshal was until you found out girls can join! And now that everyone is talking ‎about this event, you wanna act like you have been following this sport ever since you ‎were that lucky little sperm that wasn’t stupid enough to die before getting to your ‎momma’s should-have-remained-unfertilized egg! I myself am not into motorsports, ‎although I do express my interest into them since they have become a part of our ‎country’s identity. That is not, however, reason enough for me to go around telling ‎people I knew Michael Schumacher’s underwear size (if you do know this then I’ll admit you’re ‎an F1 expert… a sick one but an expert nonetheless). What if Bahrain built a space research ‎facility like NASA. Will these guys jump up and explain quantum physics to us all of a sudden?‎

These bung-holes are also classified under “Glory Hunters.” What a bunch of wide-assed ‎hypocrites. Example: 88% of Manchester United fans (of which I am a VERY big fan of ‎since 1987). The red devils started to truly shine again back in 1993, and I was trying to ‎follow them however I could, which unfortunately does not include going to a match ‎‎(yet!). All of a sudden (this is still 1993 by the way) the whole of Bahrain became Man ‎U fans. All of them pretended to know everything about the club. I asked a few of these ‎people questions they should know the answers to, like the club’s heritage and history, ‎and they knew absolutely NOTHING. It’s like, as far as they’re concerned, the club was ‎founded in 1993! What a waste of brain cells, pretending you’re a huge fan of ‎something. And what’s even more irritating, is their replies: “You think you’re ‎knowledgeable? Do YOU know any of that info?” As a matter of fact, dickhole, I know a ‎lot more about Man U than ALL of the info in your thick brain (if any). Man U got a bad ‎stint for the past two years and haven’t been as successful as before. So what happens? ‎Those people are now BIG Chelsea fans coz they’re doing better! Gimme a break! ‎

These people need therapy. They are compulsive liars. They lie just to get attention and ‎they probably believe the lies that they tell because of how many lies they barf out ‎everyday. If they cannot be treated, then our only use for them is to round them up, tie ‎them together, stick em into a giant hamster wheel, and let em all run together, generating ‎enough electricity to get Al7ala** powered up. A great solution for both the government, ‎environmentalists and us, the citizens of Bahrain who are pissed off about the existence ‎of such scum.‎

Screw this shit, I’m late for the Man U match.‎


‎* Roughly translated, this phrase means four clerics.‎
‎** Pronouced Al-Hala, an area North of Bahrain (some say it is part of Muharraq, others ‎say they are their own country)‎

Check the Bahrain International Circuit website for info about the upcoming events on http://www.bahraingp.com.bh/