Wednesday, February 21, 2007

It’s Good to be Back... Or is it?‎

Well First of all I apologize for not being able to write for a while. We had a hiatus and then I went to the UK on a leisure trip. Yes in the bloody freezing winter! But it was really great and I enjoyed it. It was good to be back to see that the country is the same as it was when I left it as a student some 8 years back. It’s not like Dubai where if you go every 2 months, you don’t recognize it. Dubai is like Nancy Ajram, fakely beautiful.

Of course when I came back, I got pissed off immediately because there, in the UK, they respect you for who you are, even if they give you that “you are an Arab terrorist” look, they might make you take your clothes off for inspection, all that is still overruled by their codes of ethics and behaviors. At least you still are treated equally with the rest of the people.

What pissed me off? Okay, first it was fucking Gulf Air. No no no it wasn’t the delay. For one of the rarest moment in their fucked up history, the bloody plane was actually on time! It was one of their flight attendants. Whatever happened to the term “steward”? Is it so demeaning that they replaced it with this “politically correct” bullshit term? Hell if there was a term more demeaning than steward I would have used it to describe this piece of inbred shit who was supposedly to serve me with a smile. Here is what happened, well let me start from their staff at fucking Heathrow Airport:

At check-in they assigned me a different seat from my wife, and get this, the plane had 100 EMPTY seats! Seriously, are you guys high or something? You have 100 empty seats and still you manage to assign me and my wife seats apart from each other? Nice work, dumbasses. I asked the lady nicely if the first row economy seats were taken or not, she checked and told me that they are not taken, great! Gimme those seats! She said gladly and tried to allocate the seats for us, but couldn’t. She said that they were “blocked” or something and that sometimes such seats are blocked until the very last moment and then if they are not assigned to someone who pre-booked them or something then they would be available. She told me that she will be at the gate at the time of boarding and that I have to remind her so she gives me those seats. Great! Lovely! I was impressed by that nice promise with a smile and thought “Maybe Gulf Air are not that evil after all!”. Anyways, we went through all that bullshit security measures of LHR and all that, where they confiscated a bottle of contact lenses solution which belonged to my wife, claiming it was “too big to carry on the plane”, WHAT? What the hell was that for? How is she supposed to keep her eyes from drying up? Suck my dick, asswipes.

We went to the gate and sat there waiting to board. At the time we were required to hand in our boarding passes and the lady wasn’t there. So I explained the situation to the guy who was there at the desk and how I was supposed to get those seats. This is where he went all-knowing and decided to talk out of his ass and crap out of his mouth. All that just because I greeted him in Bahraini as clearly he was Bahraini too and decided he wanted to show me how he can tell me to go fuck myself in an indirect way, which he did basically, the cocksucker. He started raving about how these seats are not allocated at all to anyone and that since this plane had over 100 seats empty these are already booked for emergencies and watchacallit blah blah blah and how they use something called “trimming”. What is this, a fucking barber shop? I still went “fair enough” but to my shock I discovered that these seats were given to two English fuckers. And how do I know they weren’t pre-booked? Cuz I asked them and they said that it was given to them at the gate. Nice going Gulf Air fuckers. So this is how you treat a fellow Bahraini who just wants those seats as long as they’re not someone else’s? I guess Gulf Air as always and always will be white and blond worshippers.

With that out of the way and I decided to leave it in the past cuz Gulf Air will never learn and never change no matter what. Take British Airways for example, where I took a local flight from London to Glasgow and then back a few days later. Boy how they treat a human being with respect and make him feel like a human being. Unlike those Gulf Air fuckers. I know it’s good to show people that you are a hospitable species n shit like that but treat everyone EQUALLY… Don’t over do it for others just because they were the “masters” at one point of time, oops sorry they are still the masters I guess.

We took our shitty seats which even 7-year-olds wouldn’t be comfortable in and sat like the normal couple we are. My wife found out that her seat was a bit tilted back and she tried pressing the button to bring it back to the upright position but it didn’t work, another nice going, assholes, your seats don’t work and your fucking planes aren’t properly maintained, all you’re good at is how to treat the business and first class cabins like royalty while others should be thankful that they even are flying with you losers. Now it’s normal to treat other cabins differently but take Emirates for example, fly their flights on economy and tell me how they treat a person. Anyways there were a couple of British WHORES (yes they ARE whores cuz they never shut up about how they were going to have fun in Dubai and what a shithole Bahrain was). I know my country isn’t as impressive as the Nancy Ajramic Dubai but it’s my home and I know what kind of good and smart and hardworking people live in it, unlike the dumb Bedouins and scores of expatriates that infest that hellhole. Oh and they kept on raving about Kevin’s kiss or Roger’s nice one-nighter. Tell me they are not fucking whores. So this bitch that was behind my wife told her to take her seat to the upright position and we nicely explained that we couldn’t. Before I realized it she had called the whore stewardess who was flirting with a young Bahraini guy who kept talking to her about that night they had in BJs n shit, NO I AM NOT MAKING THIS SHIT UP! The stewardess also tried to bring the seat back up but couldn’t and the English ho’ acted she was all enraged and upset. WHAT THE FUCK DID WE DO TO YOU SKANK? She told her that the seat isn’t working and then looked at us and said we had to change the seat. WHAT THE FUCK? Why us? My wife said she will never change her seat and I told her to basically go shove a dildo up her ass (in a nice way of course!). That skanky ho behind us kept puffing and kicking our chair until another stewardess came and told her that they will change them. Damn right, it wasn’t us who will be changing our places, not after you denied me the seats that were not assigned to anyone. I told them that we weren’t changing our place after what their inefficient ground staff did to me and even if it were against IATA regulations I wouldn’t change. Then they called a third stewardess who somehow resolved it and the seat actually went back to its place. A few minutes later I saw their head-asshole steward. A fucking bald asshole with little hair that is white, isn’t it about time you kicked these dinosaurs out? Why am I being so harsh about him? Cuz here’s what happened next… He came and asked about “the nervous girl” and the bitch stewardess pointed at the skanky ho behind us. Come on, what about me? Was I not shouting at them? Didn’t I have needs and was mistreated? He slipped something into her hands (must have been a dildo or a vibrator) and told her how sorry they were. WHAT THE FUCK? Oh by the way, the fucker looks like a damn meenawee*, most probably IS meenawee, bald and has white hair, most likely the service manager of the economy class cabin. If you run into him, make sure you will get the most service out of him cuz he’s one discriminating fucker. And that didn’t end there, he kept on coming every 30 minutes or so and asking her “are you still nervous?” and that pissed me off even more.

That’s why the west will always own us, and by own I mean they will be way ahead of us, not control us cuz that is a well-known fact which I don’t have to even go there. They have a good system and EVERY one abides by the rules, there is no was6a** or bullshit like that. Everyone is disciplined and if you do something wrong, you get punished for it, end of story. And fuck you Gulf Air. This time I am venting it here and not sending an email to your esteemed Chief Executive as last time I did that, all I got was a measly 3000 miles compensation into my frequent flyer mileage while others got business class tickets for two persons n shit like that. Fuck you and Fuck you min galb***.

Other than that, here are a couple of shots from my trip to the Scottish Highlands, Edinburgh and London.

The Highlands (Scotland)
Scottish Highlands

The Highlands (Scotland)
Scottish Highlands

Edinburgh Castle
Edinburgh Castle

A view of the City of Edinburgh from the Castle's cannon point
Edinburgh Castle

Ben Al-Kabeer**** in London
Big Ben

The Eye of London
The London Eye

I came across this article in Akhbar Al-Khaleej today and all I can say is, “duck my sick”, Fahmi.

And what the fuck is this rule about the 900 BD bullshit? So households who make more than 900 BD a month are rich? Oh and you want them to make a purchase application cuz they won’t be entitled for a government house? Oh and there is another rule by the way. If your household income is more than BD 1200 you are NOT entitled to ANY Ministry of Housing services. So let me get this straight, first for those who make more than 900 they have no right whatsoever to have a government home and they should apply for a purchase loan? And if they make more than 1200 they have NO right whatsoever? Oh so those who make 1200 are extremely rich and have no loans, deductions or any other commitments? Before we go there, the loan maximum amount is BD 40,000. What the fuck does that bring you? This BARELY brings you a land the size of a toilet, let alone having a ready-made house with that price. Now, if those who make more than 900 or 1200 BD a month go to banks to get mortgage loans, the first thing they do is not look at the basic salary, they look at the whole shebang, from basic, to deductions and anything else. Then they determine what the amount is. And when you go to the fucking MoH, they tell you that your basic is more than 900 or 1200 a month and that you are not entitled. When you tell them about your deductions, they tell you to fuck off and that they only look at the base salary. So if I go to these incompetent bastards, they won’t give me anything cuz I am “rich” in their eyes. And if I go to the bank, they tell me to go shove a baseball bat up my ass cuz after deductions, nothing is left from my salary and another idiot organization, the BMA, has issued a rule of that no one’s deductions should exceed 50% of his monthly salary. This is how Bahraini officials always fix problems. So a fucker takes out loans to play and travel and buy a shitty car to load it with shitloads of utter crap which in the end turns out more expensive than a Mercedes or a Beamer, then he realizes he can’t make any payments cuz his salary doesn’t cover shit but the banks give him lonas and extensions anyways so they suck him and other Bahrainis dry, be them needy or not. So after all that the BMA comes and punishes EVERY one by making this rule which won’t allow people to take out other sorts of loans such as housing loans n shit like that. This whole country is going downhill.

This is bad, is it my fault to be born in such a generation that unless I am born into a family who will shove a golden spoon up my ass, I can’t buy even a small piece of land to build a tiny house to keep me an my family safe? But my pay is good enough to make me stay at an apartment which even recently went up in rent value due to exploiting sons of bitches? So that way, the rich gets richer and the poor gets poorer, no more middle class. There is a lot of shit that’s going on in this regards that even thinking about it makes me so angry and can’t do anything about it. So just read the article and smile, for you live in Bahrain. See, all of this is interlinked, the banks, the BMA, the MoH and others are conspiring to deny a lot of people their right to a basic house. I am not asking for a fucking palace, but I also don’t want your government housing so you can make me live next to shitty Syrians and Baathists? I make good money, I should be given a good amount to be able to either build a decent home or get a ready made decent house. And what’s with lands? They say there is a shortage in lands while clearly there isn’t just look at Google Earth (God bless them for that genius piece of software!) and see for yourself. The MoH tells you that if you need a land grant, go to the Royal Court, nice, so I go to the RC and they tell me to check with the MoH. Oh so you fancy a game of ping pong or tennis don’t you? But then someone else tells me to go shove my own dick into my own ass, cuz that will be more possible than getting a land. Then I come to know that someone else got a land cuz, even with the waas6az I use, his was stronger and although he already has a few properties here n there, he doesn’t like where they are and wants something closer to his parents. And just look at the empty lands in Hamad Town which haven’t been built in 20 years although the neighborhood is filled up. What the fuck is this? I didn’t come and ask you to make me a property tycoon, all I want is a piece of land so I build my own damn fucking house you flesh-eating fuckers.

* Meenawee: A Persian person whose origins are from the town of "Meenaw" or "Minab" in Farsi, usually dark-skinned.
** Was6a = wasta = To use your influence and/or contacts to get shit done
*** Min Galb: From deep in my heart
**** Ben Al-Kabeer: Big Ben :P