Sunday, August 16, 2009

LiB @ Work #1: Why Females are the Worst Managers

Since we've been away for a long time, we think it's time to come up with new series of articles that will talk about the shit-ass situations we face from time to time. We are working on a number of mini series that will talk about situations at work for example, an official LiB food guide, etc… So please excuse the long absence and be prepared for more regular updates... On with the show!

Now before all of you fucking feminists and female defenders jump to conclusions and start bashing at me, I know that NOT ALL female workers or managers are like that. But approximately 98.142394% of female managers ARE indeed the worst anyone can work with due to the following reasons:

1. PMS

It's that time of the month, AGAIN. You are doing your job when suddenly your manager turns into a she-demon and starts screaming at you for no apparent reason. She keeps shouting that you screwed up this and that when you have spent a lot of your time and energy towards achieving that tight deadline. Suddenly your morale goes down and you feel like you wanna torch the office with EVERY single person in it so that you get it over with and stop her fucking whining and unbearable ear-piercing sharp voice.

2. Mood-Swings

Now those can be related to the above point, but in general, females are moody the whole fucking time and have no time of month to be moody. They will switch their mood just like that and will treat you the way they want whenever they fucking want to. One day she will be all smiles with you praising you for being that great employee! 14 seconds later she will start obliterating at you telling you to go fuck yourself because you are nothing but a screw-up and you should be fired or even shot. Gimme a fucking break!
When she doesn't like something that’s going on in the office she will act like a hero and start talking about how she is going to change that. The next day, she will deny that she had said anything about what's going on and will refuse to acknowledge it! Fucking moody people…

3. Procreation & Reproduction

Okay, now this is a minor point compared to the first two, very minor but still could cause disruption to the business by those few months of maternity leaves and then the feeding hours. And with the law changed to TWO hours instead of one, as if one hour of any female working not being there to provide support to her internal and external clients wasn't enough, they go ahead and double that. Hey it's ok. But SOME female workers aren't worthy of that because as soon as that time to leave comes, she will leave even if she needed to stay just 5 extra minutes to get that thing over with which means your transaction would get delayed for another day because of this. Now imagine someone in a managerial position had to leave two hours early for two years. What if an approval or signature is needed? Go figure…

4. Trying to Act Like Their Male Counterparts

Some female managers will try to act like their male peers and will act to be tough with their employees whereas they are doing nothing but fucking the poor employee up THINKING they are being tough on them. Being a bitch at work isn't tough. Tough is when someone actually does a mistake and penalize him/her for it. Being a bitch on the other hand is just making life miserable for a hardworking employee.

5. Their Love for Spying Employees

Women in their nature are gossipers. They love spreading news, rumors and whatnots around. So having said that, they love to have a person who spies on other employees and bring her any updates that she can use against them. Of course there are male managers who do the same but it's more evident in the case of she-demons, errr, female managers.

6. Insecurity

With that feeling of insecurity she will consider any hardworking employee be them male or female as a threat to her career and that's why she will wage war against this type of employees. She will surround herself with idiots so that she will look the best and smartest amongst them. She would never delegate important tasks to those high-flyers so that they don't steal the lights from her and expose her stupidity.

Now, there are more reasons but these are the major ones. Please note that again... I am not saying that ALL female managers are like that but the majority of them are actually good rising up the ranks and do very well until they hit that high chair and the sudden shift in attitude happens.

Additionally, I wanna say that I have worked with some great bosses during my career; two of them were actually females. One of them was truly the best. The second one was good as a junior manager until she hit a higher management role when a slight change in attitude occurred. But one of my ex-bosses captures the she-demon with a lot of points mentioned above. And two, actually three of my friends had to quit their jobs because of facing similar situations. So statistically, the percentage mentioned above is actually correct! I could go into more details and mention names to you but that's not the point of this article!

Screw this shit. I'll go open a consultancy firm urging companies not to promote a lot of females...