Saturday, March 25, 2006

But Daddy Told Me It’s OK to Kill Cops!

I was reading the newspaper a few days ago (the Arabic version, Akhbar Al-Khaleej "Gulf News"). Ignoring all the usual nonsense about Palestine/Israel, George Bush scratching his ass and crap that is published on a daily basis, when an article caught my attention, the title was “CDs With Obscene Images and Sexual Content Being Distributed to Kids”. Of course I had to read on, maybe I can find out where they sell this amazing offensive CD. I continued reading, only to find out that they were talking about some PS2 game, which apparently had images of sexy anime bitches or something. They did not mention the game's name. But I soon figured out that they were talking about GTA: San Andreas, which fits the description perfectly.


Well rise and shine morons, it took you this long to figure out that games like GTA shouldn’t be sold to kids, damn retards!

Before I go any further, let me explain how censorship works in this country. Basically you have your censorship committee, which are a bunch of Muslim extremists, with ape-like bushy itchy beards, and short disgusting thoubs, sitting around examining almost every media source, from cinema, DVDs, music CDs to games. What they do is they look at a movie, ignoring the content of the movie itself (whether it was political or violent), and simply remove all the nudity/sex scenes. The same goes with music CDs, DVDs and games. Now, since they can't really edit those, or have time to look at the content itself, they simply look whether there is a naked chick on the cover or not (and by naked chick I mean wearing a swimsuit). So in their primitive minds, anything with a semi-nude female on the cover is porn, period. If it had an Asian female then it's Asian porn, if it had a cartoon chick then its anime porn, and so on.


So, with an excellent censorship committee, we sometimes get some really weird shit “banned” although they are items of quality and has nothing to do with pornography. Just because THEY think it is makes it so.

Ok, so the last few years we had the censorship guys laid back a bit; We can now get some good movies in the cinemas, unrated DVDs and excellent video games. Which is good of course, I mean put it this way, I for example don’t mind watching something with nudity, cause I simply don’t give two shits. But if you do, you have a choice not to, nobody is forcing you to watch this crap, just let it be there, watch it or not, it’s your decision.

Now let's get back to the video game issue. These morons spotted a picture of a drawn female on a video game cover. And they are simply trying to make a big deal out of it. Well let me tell you jack-asses something: the game content is 1000 times worse than the picture of the girl in a swim suit. The game encourages the idea to run around the street, steal cars, kill cops, and deal drugs. So it’s basically ok for your kid to play a game like that, as long as the females in it are decent??? Gimme a fucking break.

Idiotic parents should watch out what their stupid brain-dead kids are playing. News Flash: video games have dramatically evolved over the last 2 decades. Video games are now made not just for kids, there are games for different age groups and tastes. Back in the 80’s nobody gave a shit about video games, cause all the games were supposedly innocent. Everything looked like a bunch of squares and triangles smashed down together, so you wouldn’t tell the difference between an x-rated game and Pac-man.

Games nowadays are mostly made for a more mature audience, except all the crap Nintendo makes, I think your kids are safe playing that. But games produced for XBOX or PS2 are mostly made for a more mature group of people, ranging from 15-60 (seriously). So if your kid is whining and crying his ass off because you wouldn’t get him a game, then good for you, let him cry all he wants. To be on the safe side, the ESRB (Entertainment Software Rating Board), work hard so that video game illiterates like you can tell the difference between a game made for kids, and ones that are made for adults only. You can look at the bottom corners of the packaging for these symbols:

As you can notice, over each symbol, there’s a small explanation in plain text that tells you what the symbol means. For example the (M) rating means (Mature 17+). So if your kid is a punk-ass good-for-nothing 12-year-old, and asks you to buy a game with an (M) rating on the cover, you can tell him to fuck himself. Problem solved.

I swear to God, mark my words, if these extremists start a whole “Ban Video Games” campaign, I'll re-create every single mission in GTA, IN REAL LIFE, and let’s see what they think about that.

Fuck these primitive morons. Now where did I put that "Hello Kitty" video game?

6 Comments:

Blogger God's Loyal Opposition said...

I don't get it seriously.. I was running a game place where kids come and play video games per hours and all those little rugrats about the age of 4 and 5 come and pick that CD up...when I tell them it's not for you you can play "Sonic if you like" but no they want them games.. I end up fighting with the owner that these are rated and should not be givin to anyone but does he care? no apathey is striking this society and people stopped thinking..

PS didn't America go through the same shit like 3 years ago?? we're pretty late then mate

4:00 PM, March 25, 2006  
Blogger Evil Pissed-Off Bahraini said...

the situation changed in the US and UK, if a mature game is requested, an ID card must be presented to the shop assistant to verify the customers age...

as for this country, no one cares, the shops just sell that shit to kids regardless, they are just in it for the money... so at least the parents can keep an eye on what the fuck their kids are playing...

4:41 PM, March 25, 2006  
Blogger Wolfwood said...

When I first read that article in the GDN, I immediately thought: "Don't these people have anything better to do? Silly me, of course not!" I used to work part tme in a videogame shop and some parents just didn't seem to mind that their kid was enjoying Mortal Kombat 2 a little too much as they looked on. The ratings system was created for a reason, you morons! If you don't want them playing anything you find objectionable, do the research yourself. There's no excuse in this day and age with the internet, where you've got all this info at your fingertips. Why should all responsible adult gamers have to suffer because some parents choose to spoil their kids? Last year, they banned a number of titles such as God of War, MGS3, GTA:SA and Tekken 5 for all of a month or so before they started showing up on store shelves again (probably due to pressure. The bearded apes don't exactly have consideration for peoples' livelihoods as long they're living comfortably and allowed to preach hatred and intolerance in our once fair society).

They're not even consistant with their censorship. Two cinema ads come to mind: the first one is an arabic ad for Coca Cola (i think) that tries to recreate Marilyn Monroe's iconic scene from "The Seven Year Itch" (and fails miserably in its artificial
'sexiness', IMO.). It just goes to show you the hypocrisy in play here, since egyptian movies can have equally "risqe" covers (and content) by the aforementioned standards of lingerie or swimsuits=porn, yet still be prominently displayed and even sell tickets/copies in great numbers (it also works for anti-Israel/US movies too, since you know, Westerners are evil and all).

And the other ad? A Durex commercial in which hundreds of guys dressed as SPERM are following a guy on his date. I'd love to hear how some parents would try to explain THAT whole scenario to their kid without embarassment.

Larry Flynt (founder of Hustler magazine and the subject of a great movie about censorship) once said: "What is more obscene: Sex or War?" Given the current state of things, it's pretty obvious that we'll be looking over our shoulders in fear for quite some time. Not of scantily clad women, but of little kids who decided to try out some of the stuff in that game/CD/movie their parents bought (and therefore, approved). They'd be better off with something like Katamari Damacy; hours of fun and no violence/sex whatsoever. Me? MGS3, baby! :D

11:17 AM, March 26, 2006  
Blogger Evil Pissed-Off Bahraini said...

Larry Flynt Rules...
GOD of WAR is the best game EVER made...

it should never be banned, people should enjoy it for its quality game play, excellent story line and cinematics.

plus it has alot of violence/gore and tits...

SO KIDS SHOULD STAY AWAY ....

damn i hate brats... damn kids should be lock up and let loose when they're 20...

2:23 PM, March 26, 2006  
Blogger shorty said...

I seriously cant really understand these ppl, they let their kids loose with no supervision and when they see them playing violent games, watching porn or getting butt fucked by their friends they blame the society!!

PEOPLE BLAME URSELVES!!

and hey Hello Kitty game rules *drooools*

11:06 PM, March 27, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

you had to love the GDNs front page offer yesterday "BLOW JOBS" I mean Jobs blow wasnt that great
farkin GDN the really do blow do they not.

6:10 PM, March 30, 2006  

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